Thursday, January 20, 2005


I guess I will have to just add to my journal when something inspires me...because for the life of me I could not figure out what I wanted to write about all this past week. This block really has me puzzled. If you met me in would know that I can talk up a storm...I am never lost for words. But for some reason I am at a stand still...

Now for today I did have something I wanted to mention...My dad called me last week just to say hello. That is not so unusual...however I could tell his mood was different. Seemed more solemn. We chatted about several things going on...and especially my daughter. My dad has always had a special place for her. He loves all his grandkids and great grandkids...but Because my daughter was born 3 months early and was extremely ill for so long...he has a special place for her...
he wants to make sure that she has a reliable car for when she starts driving. He wants to make sure that she is thinking of her future and planning ahead...he wants to make sure that she has everything she needs.

I keep reminding the old man (my personal nickname for him--of which he loves and will not allow anyone else to use it) that I was born first....and he said he was finished with me...and now it is her turn...well geez!!!
Well at the end of this very long father mentioned that I should really concentrate on my writing and crafting abilities....he said he sees so much talent but does not understand why I do not pursue it all professionally...I used to write some serious articles and poetry and stories way back when...but I let that go...and now the crafts I am doing...he loves it all. My father has never ever told me that......I had my mouth hanging open.... but the more shocking news is that at the end of the phone call my father said "I LOVE YOU"..I could not believe it........he actually said those words to me. My father has NEVER said those words to me in my lifetime. Whenever I have said them to him his response was also God Bless You...but deep down in my heart I always longed to hear those words from him and sure heart is at total peace.

My dad was raised that men do not express their feelings. So he has always been that way all my life...but when I heard those words from him...all I could do after hanging up is cry...I cried for hours...In my house...we say those three great words constantly. I always knew that is what I wanted for my children. But growing up I never had that...I know for a fact that he has not said those words to my brother or sister. But THANK GOD I finally got to hear them. It feels like something has been completed in my life.

I know this must sound so trivial to some of you...or infantile...but to me it means the world. ..Now there I have figured out what to write about and it feels good to see it written down. Thanks for letting me share my story and I hope you all have a FABULOUS friday!!



coy1234787 said...

    Yeah, sometimes there is nothing I want to hear more than I love you from My Dad. So glad that your conversation went well.
                             *** Coy ***

derasta said...

That is so sweet that your father said that to's something you will never forget :)

boiseladie said...

What a great entry, especially when you've had such writer's block.  I too, was raised with very little affection.  I do not remember being told that I was loved, by either of my parents.  I know they love me, but to hear those words...  And like you, I tell my kids I love them all the time.

tendernoggle said...


csandhollow said...

That was wonderful. Tou did not mention how old your father is. Is it possible that he is thinking of HIS future?

dcmeyer420 said...

This is a great entry, Ellie! I want to cry right now. The part where your Dad said, "I love you." made me teary eyed. How can something like that be trivial? That is so special! I know you probably read this before but it is so appropriate with your entry! I always tell people I love them because of this.

The Time Is Now
If your are ever going to love me
Love me now, while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
From which true affection flows
Love me now, while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then it will be chiseled in marble
Sweet words on ice cold stone
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please tell me now
If you wait till I am sleeping
Never to awaken
There will be death between us
And I would not hear you then
So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So I can treasure it

onestrangecat said...

I am so happy that you were able to have that conversation with your dad.  I know how much it must mean to you.


sonensmilinmon said...

Ellie, my dad never really told me he loved me, it was just a known fact that he did.  I remember having a conversation with him and the day he told me he loved me.  I was so choked up I couldn't say anything in return!  Your entry choked me up once again.