Thursday, November 24, 2005








I am thankful for all of you that I truly can call my friends...You have each touched my life and for that I will always be grateful.

Thanks for sharing in my life and making it more complete!!!


Thursday, November 10, 2005


Have I ever mentioned in any of my entries that I just cannot stand going to the doctor....I think I have...I think you all are stick of hearing it....but it made me a total wreck just thinking that I had to leave the comfort zone of my house to go to the psychiatrist. First I really thought we would hit subjects more like how I should be dealing with my facing death and dying as a result of my debilitating disease. But even after these past 4 years of seeing him...he is more concerned with keep my meds going then anything else. I just about dropped my mouth when I left and read the prescriptions where he increased my sleeping pill....yes I have to take those on a regular basis so that my body gets the proper serotonin it needs to make correct decisions and keeps your mind sharp...I sleep enough as it is...I am missing out on life....yet he increases it.

The last time I went to him...he said that I could start going every other month...trying to bring my anxiety level down about going....he said think about it and let him know at my next appointment...well I told him...yes I want to see you every other month....and then he I think in your case I need to have you keep coming every month...GEEZ--someone make up his mind. now next month I have another appointment with him and then the following week after him I see the lunp that will be interesting....that doctor has cut down his hours incredibly...I think he is fixing to retire soon...then workman's comp gets to play with what doctor they will send me to ===to be tortured some more....UGH!!!

Okay...I am trying to hold it together...I need to go lay down now because I took one of those new sleeping pills and it is working really quick....I will bounce back later.

BTW....THANKS to all of you that left such precious messages for me.........You really made me feel so loved!!!!

Be Good to Yourselves,,,,,PEACE!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 8, 2005


Yes it is me....remember me? Yes I did disappear....trying to keep things together at home...and with my health. I just seem to get in these ruts where I have to stop and step back and just walk away from things because I just do not feel right about it. I know that does not make sense but it does to me.

Life is okay....yes the Hurricane Wilman did make a pass by here...lots of wind and way tooooo much rain...streets flooded, ditches overflowed....and you could have used a canoe for your yard...but we are okay...we now have a leak in our garage roof and it is causing the ceiling to collapse...also our well has gone out....when it rains it pours I am trying to make due with what we have.

My puter got sick for a my access so was limited until we could come up with the money to get it fixed...the mother board and power box both was during one of the brown outs that this area goes through before during and after storms...yes my puter is hooked up to one of those power surge does not work in storms in this state...I found that out.

So now I am back online and slowly getting things loaded back into my puter and so on.

The kids are doing GREAT. My son who lives in Tennessee is enlisting in the army at the end of this month...the son that moved down south is living up the street from us with a friend of his...working around the corner from us...and racing cars is so good to have him around again...makes me laugh every day.

The daughter is loving high school....she is taking alot of creative classes and doing so very well in them...she is even doing some designing for teachers and such...I am very proud of all of them...

My hunnie is still working at the prison....he has 4.5 years left to full retirement...then we will probably look to having a place in north florida so that my health can improve.

I am booked with doctors for the rest of the month.. justnot adjusting to anything as well as I had hoped for...but things are ok. I have some good days but the bad seem to overwhelm me.

Other then that...I think I have caught you up on general news...I hope to get on more often...I just cannot sit for long periods of time...sitting restricts my lungs from expanding fully and it becomes painful to sit for a spell...but I am trying to keep positive which is something else I am working on within myself.

I hope all of you are doing grand....I hope to go around and say my hellos....please do not give up on me...I am hanging in there and have missed you all.