Wednesday, December 31, 2003


I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very HAPPY and JOYFUL and PROSPEROUS New Year. I truly HOPE that all your DREAMS and WISHES come true. I think at this point in my life I need to make some serious New Years' resolutions and keep them..I am falling behind in everything. Hope to hear from all of you soon!!!! PEACE ALWAYS

Thursday, December 25, 2003


I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very very Merry Christmas and a Blessed and Glorious New Year. Family has shown up and of course life is crazy but everyone is having a good time so it is well worth it. Dinner is cooking and everyone is doing their lil part so I have the day off-best gift ever. I hope that your home is filled with as much love and warmth as mine...thank you all for making a difference in my life and being apart of it- PEACE ALWAYS!!!!

Monday, December 22, 2003


I thought that I was already having quite the insane week.....but nooooo someone up there has a great sense of humor. Last night my son decided to take my van (the only vechicle we have running) to the corner store to fill it up with gas. It was a surprise. But the surprise was on him because the transmission went totally out on it. Yes you heard it here first...we have NO VECHICLES... I have to laugh because if I do not I will wind up crying... I truly think Christmas is going to be a bust...we have not even gotten anything for our kids...our kids know that money has been tight and they have asked us not to get them just use the money to pay what we have to...I have some incredible kids...but that really is not Christmas for them. Well I am hoping all this gets straightened out by tomorrow, the stress is starting to get to me. hunnie's mother and sister are coming up for Christmas (OH JOY) So that will just make the holidays even more stressful and insane for me. I know I have to be understanding...but I just cannot take the mistreatment of my kid from them anymore. Now the good news is No dogs have escaped ... or dragged me around the house .. or attacked anything-so this is a good sign. The even better news is that I have a son who lives up north and he has taken a surprise trip down here to see his lil sister (my daughter)-so she is all excited about seeing her big brother and spending some time with him. I am thrilled for her-she really needed this in her life. Okay-I have bored you all enough with my lil family stories so I will sign off for now and catch you all later---PEACE!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2003


WOW...counting down to Christmas and I am definitely not ready yet. It seems like I just cannot get it together enough to get ready. Well the flu is still running wild here. It seems like someone starts feeling well one day then it is twice as worse the next day.  I feel bad for my kids because this is a terrible way to spend the holidays. Have I mentioned yet that the dog saga is not over with. Yes it can get worse... now the other female pup and the grown female dog are both in heat. Well I cannot take all the hormones flying around this house. Our male dog is going nuts...and he is definitely not easy to calm down. But what would a day be like without something insane going on at my house. That is why I keep a journal I think. I just have to write down all these incidences so that I can look back and say WOW I survived all that...LOL. Well believe it or not I have not gone to bed yet and it is about 6 in the morning I am making this one short...I am falling asleep at the keyboard. But I should be returning-hopefully just to write about borning things...LOL I really do not think I can take much more excitement.  PEACE!!!!

Friday, December 19, 2003


I have discovered that if I did not know me I would think that these entries were made up...but nooo I do know me and my life simply is a soap opera. When it rains it pours. The newsest scoop is the lil guy (my nephew) came homefrom school on thursday happy as could be because they handed out gifts to all the kids. So he was in heaven. But after being home for about an hour or so, he complained about his left side hurting the minutes went by it was hurting him more and more. Now he is in tears...finally he lays on his stomach and goes to sleep. I wait until his mother gets here because I have no idea who his doctor is and I have no authorization to get him medical treatment. I called her at her office but alas she was gone...three hours later she decided to show up at home. God only knows where she was and I was thoroughly aggravated. We told her what was going on with the little one and she took him to the hospital. I tried to tell you that I thought it might be a gas pocket and get him to drink some 7-up. BUT nooo she does not want to listen-she wants to make a show of everything and runs off to the hospital. Well NINE hours later and the kid is fine. The doctor said "he probably had a gas pocket- next time give him something like 7-up" Well of course that threw her for a loop because I was right and she kept that baby up all night long. They did not get home until 6 in the morning. Now friday he woke up and is sick as a dog. I have no idea what came over him other than being in a waiting room for that long with so many people who had the flu. He has no voice left and is totally stuffed up. Needless to say I am not happy with his mother and I had nothing to say to her all day...I think she got the hint I was upset. Well...that was enough adventures for me. I am done with the excitement. My daughter and one son also woke up I think this Christmas everyone will be in bed...well that is different-PEACE!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2003


Hi Everyone--yes it is me and I am back...I do apologize from the bottom of my heart...sometimes when things are chaotic I tend to withdraw. It is a bad habit of mine that I am trying to improve upon...but I would like to THANK all of you that leave such GREAT messages for me under my entries and another THANKS to those of you that wrote to me reminding me to move my is so APPRECIATED. Now Believe it or not I have been trying to write this entry for two days and everytime I do-I either get kicked off or an error I am hoping that it goes through this time. Well now life here has gotten totally out of hand...the company that is staying with us (remember?) well alot of issues are coming up and alot of conflicts. It is causing life in the house to be awkward. I am trying to resolve all this asap but I am afraid my hunnie will lose his cool before I come up with something. Anyway.... we are officially down to one vechicle-and this is causing alot of rescheduling and shuffling around. More chaos. Hunnie is off for the next two weeks (THANK GOD) I love having him around 24/7. So he is working on his bronco to get it going so things won't be so nuts. Like I said I love having him around but the only negative thing is that another one of our puters has bitten the dust. Right now we do not have the money to get it fixed. So now my hunnie is sharing mine and that is cutting into my online time...THIS definitely adds stress to me. My puter is one of my major contacts to the outside world because I really cannot go anywhere unless it is highly preplanned and well prepared. The best news is that my daughter who had my first grandchild sent me pics.... as soon as I figure out how to scan with this darn machine I will post the pic...that was the BEST christmas present I could have ever gotten. More later--PEACE!!!!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2003


WOW...I must apologize to all you wonderful friends...I am sorry I have not been around. I have allowed the insanity at my house to get the best of me. It has been really stressful and the only way right now that I can handle it is to keep to myself and just hide. I know that sounds so FOOLISH for a person my age..but the more I worry the more my muscles tighten up in my chest and the harder it is for me to breath with my lousy hiding is the next best thing. Please forgive me...and if you ever want to check on me just email me...yell at get back on the ball... sometimes everyone needs a push. Anyway...another car incident-like I have had enough already-we are down to one vechicle. My hunnie's truck that he just got finished fixing is dead. Yes I said it...with all the vehicles in the household junkyard and now everyone has to use my van...oh lordy!!! Just to add a lil spice to of my sons got a job-I was so excited until he told me that it was to deliver pizza. He needs a vehicle for talk about playing musical cars--it is getting a bit too much. Wait I can even top that one...for two nights in a row..our 5 rotties have gotten loose...we did not realize that they had dug a major hole under the fence and are causing chaos in the neighborhood. Not they are not attacking anyone or anything...they are just barking like mad when they see other dogs. Of course this does not happen during the day when no one is sleeping---NOOOO it happens at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning. Needless to say it was not fun looking for them and I am not a happy camper with them right now.--Hopefully I will have more time later to write more about everything--PEACE!!!!

Monday, December 1, 2003


Finally the holiday is over and all has returned to normal more or less. I really thought this thanksgiving was going to be quiet but I was wrong. My hunnie's daughter from his first marriage came for the holiday.... she is 15 years old....and a delight to have around...I just love this child. Well my hunnie had to drive down south to pick her up...about a 3 hour trip. While he was down there-his sister asked him to fix her van.(his sister and mother live near by the daughter). Well one thing turned into another and the van could not get fixed totally because the sister bought the WRONG parts. So he told him when he brings his daughter back he will fix it but she needs to get the right parts... LONG story short again wrong parts were bought... return trip that should have taken no more then 8 hours turned into 36 hours and AGAIN our vehicle had to also be repaired while he was down there...something about the universal joints...but don't ask me.... I was too worried about them. Again another adventure concerning cars and it is slowly driving me crazy. BTW--the sister's van got fixed and so did hunnie's truck. But it all just made the holiday end in insanity. As for Thanksgiving itself...we had a GRAND time together....lots and lots of eating and picture taking and FUN and laughs and tons of hugs and more was PERFECT. I hope everyone else's holiday was grand also. More later----PEACE!!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2003


I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very BLESSED and JOYFUL Thanksgiving....May you and yours make many WONDERFUL memories and share much LOVE!!!      HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS..

Tuesday, November 25, 2003


Okay....Here is THOR...better known as "HorseHead". Well I hope you are sitting down for this one...because I am still amazed and laughing. A few days ago my son did some shopping for me. Well he picked me up slippers that I really really needed and are so cottony soft. When they are brand new it is easy to slide. Especially in our house which is totally tiled. Now I know that you all read my last entry about our lil female pup that is in "heat". Along with the famous THOR who wants her BAD... well after I wrote the last entry... somehow all the dogs escaped and were all together....LOTS of barking and insanity broke out... well there I am walking as fast as I can because this lady does not run...and tried to rescue the female...I grabbed THOR by his collar to hold him back and went for a free ride...yes you heard it hear.... that dog actually dragged this BBB (BigBeautifulBody)all over the house like I only weighed 10 pounds. I was skiing inside my house...because my slippers that I had on were still new and the floors were just cleaned and I went for a ride... I screamed like a crazy woman. Yes my family came out to rescue me AFTER they stopped laughing and watched me go around a few times... Lord I wish we had a video camera on so that it could be taped.... because It is hard for me to believe. Yes I am still sitting here laughing hysterically because I am NO SMALL CHICKEN and THOR is......well he is......HORSEHEAD. The picture does not do justice to his size (or his head) but he is truly a character. I must say that my days are never ever dull. Okay now that I have given you all a laugh or two.... I have been really busy with LOTS of doctor appointments...of course they are all scheduled right before Thanksgiving. So I have been running from one appointment to another.... the only thing left to say about it all is that all the medications have been increased.. Well enough of that mess. Here we are getting ready for THANKSGIVING...abit of company is coming and the house is getting really cleaned up courtesy of my kids (GOD LOVE THEM). So it should be wonderful here. I plan on taking tons of pics... and eating my heart out. I should return tomorrow..if not...find are sure to find me..LOL..PEACE!!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2003


Well I should have never mentioned the word Chaos in any entry because this week again is just full of it. I believe I have mentioned that I have 5 dogs... they are all rotties...very cute, very loyal, very loving, very protective and NOT DANGEROUS. Well unless you try to hurt one of us...but they do not attack people. Okay.. two of the dogs are puppies about 4 1/2 months. One of the others is 18 months... well for some reason one of the lil ones (which is not so little) went into "heat". Well the 18 month old dog is a male and going crazy. I was not ready for this because usually they do not go into "heat" until they are at least 6 months old. So it is way too early. My house is now a hunting ground for the male. His name is THOR. He has a massive size his nickname is horsehead. He is wailing and crying out like a sick bull all over the house 24/7. Now this phase of being in "heat" last for a week... and we are only on day 2. THOR was trying to get into my puter room (where I was hiding out the female pup) and hitting the door with his head that things were bouncing off the wall and shelves. Lordy-that dog is strong-and very hard headed. It is almost comical if I was not so afraid of the pup getting pregnant. Here you have to wait until your dog is over 6 months before they will spay/neuter them. Well we were going to have her done when she turned 6 months because that is when her last puppy shots are done...but no...God has a wonderful sense of humor and decided to keep me on my toes. Well-enough about dogs-hunnie (4 days later) is still working on the bathroom tiles...he got the greenboard up and the work has stopped. I have begged him to call up his friend to make sure he is doing everything right-but NO... he watched his friend and now is an expert in laying tile...OMG-this also is comical if I did not have to look at the "mess" everytime I walked into the bathroom... but better laugh then cry. Okay..enough of my complaining, just wanted to keep everyone up to date...PEACE!!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2003


I did not mean to be gone for so long...have not been feeling up to par... having some serious migraines and dizzy spells and I am wondering if it is due to the new meds that I have been taking for the last three weeks. Anyway... that is not as crazy as the rest of the news going on around here.... more cars have broken down...we had to fix another one up enough to get it on the road get a tag put on it and get it insured..(like we had the money for that-NOT). Then we had to help the "sister in law" get her car broke down and needed the waterpump replaced..that took over nine hours...then our oven has not been working in God only knows how long and finally a repairman from whirlpool has shown up and it took a week to get that straightened out and just in time for Thanksgiving. Finally after over a week the bathroom is DONE. I am so glad because it was EXTREMELY hard for 7 people to share one bathroom... but no that is not the end to the story..the masterbedroom bathroom had a couple of tiles that needed replacing in the shower...well honey thought he would clean the edges around the tiles that are exposed and low and almost entire wall has to be replaced in my shower. He said one tile felt loose and when he tried to see how loose all the tiles came crumbling down. Now you would think I would be mad or something...but I laughed my butt off because this sort of thing can only happen to my honey and no one else. Also the son that went travelling to North Carolina was gone for 4 days...and after the first call I never heard from him... so that was making me way too uptight...but they are back home safe and had a WONDERFUL time. So as you can see, my life has been abit on the chaotic side and on top of not feeling all that great has not made for a happy camper in me. But I am look for more exciting moments from my personal soap opera..LOL... Have a great day!!  PEACE!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2003


The above picture is one of my twin boys..Allen jr. Here he is holding Anthony (the nephew) while they chill out and relax. Believe it or not my boys are 18 and in their last year of high school and trying to get ready to take on the world. Well Allen is on his way to North Carolina. A fellow officer of my hunnie's needed help with cleaning out and picking up a travel trailor so she asked my son if he would be interested. Of course he jumped at the chance..he has never been on a road trip like that before and has never been up north. All my kids were born in Florida- so they really do not know what real cold weather is like, they have never seen snow, and they have never seen real mountains. Well Allen has called me several times on the way up there today just to tell me how he is amazed at the mountains. It is wonderful to hear about how new everything is to him...seeing the world through his eyes. He bought a disposable camera before they left so that he could take tons of pictures of his road trip...he is also picking up colorful leaves to bring back..he cannot believe all the colors that he sees. I guess telling my children what the weather is like up north is nothing compared to them experiencing it all for themselves. Allen plans on attending Crown College-which is a college for the studies in becoming a minister. He is definitely my preacher boy...and has very strong beliefs and waivers to no one. A heck of a kid...he has a very tender heart for children and animals...and is a computer wiz on top of it all. Well he just called about 20 minutes ago to say that they are at a hospital...the officer and him had to try and get the truck out of a mud bog and the officer hurt their they are at the hospital so that they can get some pain killers and continue on their way. Oh-the reason I mentioned that he wants to become a minister is because they passed by the Billy Graham Training Center and such-so tomorrow he wants to go there and check it all out. I also believe they are going to stop by Stone Mountain in Georgia to see the sites...I have been there many times and told them both that it is a fun place to stop by and take pics at....So far his first road trip has been filled with twists and turns and he is loving it... BTW the officer is major injuries. Well if anymore news comes up- I will definitely post it here...PEACE!!!!

Monday, November 10, 2003


HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY-DADDY!!! The picture above is my father in 1940 when he went into the Marines to fight in WWII. My father does not talk about that time at all....I have only picked up bits and pieces of the garbage he went through being in the marines..and the philosophy of fighting. My father is Puerto Rican..that should mean nothing...but apparently in 1940 in the armed services it did. My father faced ALOT of prejudice from those that he was serving with and under. The rules were different for different "ethnic" groups..sad but true. I have a hand full of my father's medals and ribbons...I have only two pictures of him in the marines..and very lil information. I guess during this father was thought of as part of a quota..and if the armed services already helped a handful of "minorities" that was the quota..they refused to help any others. I may sound like I am bitter but honestly I am not...I do not like injustice against anyone.. but it kills me when people have no respect for those that have served in the armed forces (or are doing it now) forgetting that they are protecting a nation full of free people. My father was very proud to serve his country...but hurt how he was treated. He is now going to be 80 in december and is quite ill. It sounds like a sore subject-but my father has planned ahead for when he passes away..but myself and the rest of the family want him to have his military burial honors due him for being a right now we are fighting the is sad that it takes so long for someone in government to say okay-we will take care of it. It took my father over 8 years of red tape to get permission to be buried in the military cementary in this state. But the honors do not automatically come with it. What a system. I guess my point is..I will keep fighting the system and you all today THANK A VET..and let them know their fight was worth it. They just might need to hear it!!!   PEACE!!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2003


Well yesterday was quite interesting...what started out with replacing just a few tiles in the bathroom has turned out to be major has been decided that all the tiles are being replaced and the bathtub and the floor and the hallway floor. UNBELIEVEABLE. Finally late yesterday morning sleep hit me and I went to lay down-so I missed most of the destruction...when I got up I did manage to take some pictures..which I will post here...soon. My hunnie's mother never showed up-so course we are worried because it is a very lonely and long drive from where she is to our place...she sent one of the boys an email around dinner time that they were not coming-(NO KIDDING!!)-she decided against it. Okay... it seemed the evening was going okay and I got to watch a few football games...(my favorite pasttime) and then we got a phone call around 10:30 at night and it was one of the guys who is helping with the construction..he wants to come now so that he can keep working-he is bored. Well my hunnie said "come on down" and they all worked until around 3 this morning. So I got to play on the puter and listen to banging for the most part. I think he is returning around 9a.m. to get more done...UGH!! Well I should not complain because at least the main bathroom is getting a major makeover..but expense wise I do not think we should have done so much. Well more to come about the construction taking place... it should be interesting.--PEACE!!!

Saturday, November 8, 2003


Lordy, Lordy, Lordy...The chaos is just beginning here at my corner of the world. Last nigh we received an email message that my hunnie's mother is driving up this way to see us. (UGH!!!) It figures I just wrote about her and she appears...I asked my hunnie to call her and tell her to come some other time because this weekend is not convienent.. the main bathroom in our house is under construction as of 8 this morning. So she decided without asking us to come up here. Allen asked here very politely not to come but she has to have things her we have to stop other plans we had because now we have to wait on here. Between the five dogs going crazy because they are guys here helping my hunnie, and the kids going in four different directions...and now company and the house looks trashed because for the last 4 days everyone in the house has been sick... so we all stayed in bed-nothing got done. I am so not in the mood for company, or pleasantries. So if you do not hear from me-I escaped. I don't know where-but I cannot take the insanity. Okay so I might be exaggerating...but truly are you really comfortable having uninvited guests when everyone is sick and your house is totalled? I think not. I shall write more later and fill you all in on what happens here... the adventure is just beginning-LOL...PEACE!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2003


I know this can be a sensitive subject to some but for me it is VERY confusing. I know that one day I will be a mother in law..I hope I am a tenth of what my mom is..she is just so accepting and welcomes all with open arms..but it seems I do not have that kind of luck. Now my hunnie's mom is nice but she really turned me off when she from the onset treated my daughter differently then the boys. I am a true believer that you can do anything to me-I can take it...but NEVER EVER hurt my child. I would have to WHOOP some booty. Well my hunnie has truly gone off on his mother for the differences that she makes between the kids but now she does things in a subtle way...really burns me up. I am extremely vocal- I definitely speak my mind and have no problem doing it...but OUT OF RESPECT for my hunnie I am VERY respectful of his mother. My parents raised me right. The problem is now she is emailing me these lil messages of "let's be friends" and I am not in the mood to appease her. I think after all these years I have bent over backwards so far and so many times that now I am dizzy and my back hurts. My mother always said "Kill them with Kindness" but she only manipulates that. When my siblings and their families were going to meet my hunnie and the boys for the first time...they threw a party to welcome them to the family and what a bash it was... I just love my family for being so supportive in whatever I do and whomever I am with... but his family is just not that way. After I met his family for the first time..I called his sister to thank her for being so kind and wonderful while we were there... she told me I had no right saying that because I did not know her well enough. LORD- I cannot win for losing. I think they plan on coming here for the holidays... have I mentioned that throws me into a crisis... what a way to spoil the best season of the year. Well I am sure I will more to say about this soon..just wanted to get the ball rolling...PEACE!!!

Monday, November 3, 2003


Well another week is upon seems now I am playing catch up with everything. I really have to get motivated to work on my calendars and scrapbooks as gifts. I have added more pics to my photoblog that I think are interesting...please feel free to check it out at "My Point Of View"I am really have way too much fun. I have always been fascinated by photography and used to be very heavily involved in it-especially throughout high school and college...but as more responsibilities came along my fun stuff gave away. The weekend was pretty quiet here-my boys went to Cocoa Beach this weekend with friends-so there were no fights over vechicles, and no begging for money-works for me. My nephew is still quite sick-the lil guy just cannot seem to kick it. So I kept him home today so that he could take more medicine and maybe start feeling like his old self. Anyway-the point of me doing that photoblog is because I am finding that when I am most creative I am most happiest. Of course my hunnie encourages me because he reaps the benefits of all the fun stuff I do. I would love to hear what others do to be creative...let me know. In the meantime I have to go make some more tags for others--PEACE!!!

Saturday, November 1, 2003


I was going through alot of journals...reading and getting ideas...and came across some really nice photoblogs...well after seeing what others have taken pics of and such-it inspired me to publish my own I found the perfect place to do it and would LOVE it if you would not mind checking it out and letting me know what you all think of it...I am still adding to it and making changes..but so far I am very pleased with how it is all turning out. WOW--another creative outlet for me. I am just too excited.. my photoblog is called "MY POINT OF VIEW" So now I have something new and different to express myself. Works for me! PEACE!!!!


Well...of course I am running behind in everything-I would like to wish you all a HAPPY we do not celebrate Halloween...I really never have-but my nephew is exposed to it at for him we did some pumpkin carving and he asked me to put this animation on my page-he thought it was too cool-of course me being the wonderful Aunt I am-just had to make his wish come true. Turned out tho that Anthony came home very sick from school so he went right to sleep and did not want to go out and trick or treat-so we just gave him fun stuff at home. Now the adventure this past week has been cars again. Of course-again the "man" does not listen to me...his car started to act up...I said-don't take your car, take my van--he said--no no I will be just fine-and on the way to work broke down and the florida highway police had to call me and tell me he was on the side of the expressway-this call came at 1 in the morning-so of course when you hear the phone at that hour your mind goes crazy. Well he got his other car fixed-but I said do not take that one because you have not tried it out too much-take my van- he said no no- it is working great-the boys and I fixed it all up- well-9am in the morning on his way home from work-he broke down. Then one son during one early morning hour-wanted to go to the corner store and get his free refill on a big mug of ice tea. Okay go ahead and use my van but don't be foolish in it...son was foolish in it and got my van stuck in a ditch. NOW you would think that some male person in this household would listen to what I am saying but nooooo-their egos will not allow them. Now I get to say ALL weekend- I TOLD YOU SO!!! I just love it-LOL...PEACE!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2003


As you might have noticed...I am constantly listening to the news. The reason is because I am more homebound then I get to go out, I try to keep up with the world around me. It does not make me feel better to see suffering and terrible things going on...but it makes me realize how wonderful my life is. I think there are too many people out there who have forgotten the basics of human life-on living day to day. We are all so wrapped up in a crazy world were you can no longer leave your front door unlocked, nor can you just let you child go and play somewhere in the neighborhood. Most people are wrapped up in keeping up with the "jones" and getting deeper in debt, or trying to make sure that they and/or their children have the newest in gadgets that are out in the market. I am amazed to see the insanity in all that...and I just cannot figure out why everyone else cannot see it. Or can they? I guess I want everyone to enjoy the basics such as your hunnie walks by you and you grab their hand and dance to the music you hum...or you have a great pillow fight with your kids, or just make popcorn and watch a movie as a family. Do you really need a game cube to keep your children happy and satisfied? I remember great board games we used to play as a family growing up such as 'the game of life', or 'twister' or just plain cards. Maybe I am living in a fantasy world and hoping against hope but I think we should all just dance like no one is watching us anytime...laugh at ourselves all the time...hug each other every chance we get, take drives for the adventure of it and go back to the basics of real time with each other...SPREAD THE WORD--Get Back To Family Basics--PEACE!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2003


At least this weekend I did not totally waste it away....I actually got something done. I am so proud of myself. I worked on my nephew's webpages...because he has been so into having his own finally I have completed some pages. I still have to work on  some but at least it is up and running...PLEASE check it out for yourself ANTHONY'S PLACE. He is just way too excited for a five year old having a website...but whatever makes him happy makes me happy. I just could not sleep all night. Too much on my mind..too much to figure out. So I thought instead of just sitting there and letting my mind go crazy I would do something positive. I think today I will go out and take some serious pics of whatever tickles my fancy and see what I can come up with. I absolutely love my digital camera...that is another thing my hunnie bought for me to keep me busy and pursue since now I have to stay home.. he knows I love to take pictures of anything and everything so a digital camera fit the bill. It is a kodak dc4330 or something like that...the pics come out awesome and it even takes a short video if I want... just too many toy buttons to play with. If I take pics of anything interesting I will definitely post it here for all to see... at least that is my plan for now. Remember to turn your clocks back an hour.... wow I gained an hour of time and did not have to do anything-feels great...LOL..also of course I have to mention a bit of something about sports.... I was born and raised in the beautiful state of New York... It will always remain in my heart...but I have lived in the sunshine state for about 18 years now. Well the baseball world series just confused me because I really did not know who to cheer for... so I am so sorry will always be first in my all were the first baseball game I ever saw in person growing was awesome-but CONGRATS you Florida MARLINS.... I guess the sunshine state just might swipe all the big games this year afterall...Have a great sunday-PEACE!!!

Saturday, October 25, 2003


I am so BLESSED to have the wonderful children I do....they just picked up where I ended and have taken on cooking, cleaning, and running errands for me.... my hunnie has been with me at every single appointment, the ultimate in supportive and never once complained. I am so very BLESSED... and I know it. Without them I would have never made it this far. So as you can see I have a very full plate in my life. I am not looking for any miracles or any kind of sympathy... I just want to be back to "normal" as much as possible and enjoy the time I have left...whatever that may be. I would love to go shopping and not be in an electric wheelchair... I would even be happy just brushing my hair and not run out of breath... that is how bad it gets. But on the brighter side... I have an awesome family who have adjusted all their lives to make life as wonderful as it is around here. My hunnie changed an extra bedroom we had and made it into a puter room for me so that I could have a nice size T.V., my puter, his puter, my beautiful birds, and my recliner.... and the phone... so that they only reason I would have to leave the room is to go to the bathroom. Everyone comes and hangs out in this little room.... and it is wonderful... the DVD player is in here and my kids will make a ton of popcorn and we have movie nights... just because I could never sit at a movie theatre long enough without coughing my brains out. We have all adjusted... but a great price has been paid. Hopefully with this new doc I will be able to handle things more..we will see... I have left out alot of details of course about my illness... but I think you pretty much get the picture. I wanted to share my story with everyone because when I say Life Is Too Short... I should know... Enjoy every second you have with your children, your family, your friends... and remember to tell them all at least 100 times a day how much you love them.... Thanks for taking the time to read my story...PEACE!!!!!!


Now I am the first that successfully sued and won....some settled with far less... and the others are still fighting. My particular fight took over three years. In those three years I went to dozens of specialists, went through dozens and dozens of tests, put my family in deep financial straits, and dealt with the insanity of lawyers. In February of this year...we finally went to the final court-the one that the story is actually told at- and the decision was made instantly in my favor-never done before. That is how much evidence I had against them. It was incredible. They had me followed for 6 months video taping every move I made outside of my house. They would stop my meds for weeks at a time that I would become more ill again, of course they stopped paying my salary from the onset, they played with my mind and my welfare just to get me to give up. I know it may sound like I am paranoid but trust me.... The state knows no bounds. So my final diagnosis is...COPD brought on by BROCS which is the severe form of Sick Building Syndrome. My lungs are destroyed. There is so much scar tissue from being sick on and off all those years working in that office and such... that they have shortened my life span. The doctors do not know how long I could last really.... they said if I am lucky maybe 10 years-I know that sounds like a long time.... but not when you are in your early 40's... I may make it to my daughter's graduation.... there are no guareentees... so now if I survive.... I collect my salary until my retirement age...once I am gone my family will get it... and they have to pay for all of my medical care regarding my lungs. They also have to pay for all the medications and such that I am on... My medications cost approx. $1,300 a month-and that is on the low side... There are still downsides to this... all of my fingernails have fallen off and my legs are covered in sores... the skin on my arms are peeling as if I have had sunburn... and my vision had gotten progressively worse...of which now I have the onset of glaucoma because of the steroids they have kept me on for sooooo long. But with no steroids-no life.... those lil darn pills are keeping me going... but they are destroying me in other ways. (ONTO PART THREE)


Finally the weekend is here...I am relieved. Friday was quite a stressful day for me sort of speak. Because I am so sick-my lung specialist referred me to a psychiatrist because he feels that I would need someone to talk to and such because the quality of my life has changed, and it is alot to go through. Well friday was the day that I meet the doc. I never thought in a million years I would ever go see a psych doctor. I always thought I was pretty much in control of my life and my emotions and so on and so forth. But when the quality of your life has changed so dramatically and so permanently I guess you have no other alternative-just to keep your head above water. Well the doc was wonderful-funny and made me feel very comfortable so that is a major plus. He talked me through putting me on some medications to help even me out so that I am more able to concentrate on things and deal with every day life. I have no problem with it and it wasn't such a culture shock as I thought it was going to be. I am just so tired of not being the person I used to. I cannot even walk from one room to another without being out of breath and coughing to the point of choking. It really is driving me crazy. I accepted alot of things so far but I never knew all the things in life I would have to give up including some of my independence. I guess I owe everyone an explanation about "this illness" so I am going to attempt to make it short and sweet. (Grab a cup of coffee-because this is a good one--) During my employment with the DOC... I was exposed to black mold over a period of almost 7 years. I could see the stuff coming out of the AC vent in my tiny office yet NO ONE would do anything about it. The biggest thing that was attempted is that the maintenance dept would paint over the black stains that were left on the ceiling from the mold. Is this insane or what? To make a very very long fight with the state short... I had to sue them because they denied that their buildings were "sick". However-just to settle any questions on your mind-there are dozens of employees right now that are suing for the same reasons, are also dying from respiratory diseases, or have died. So this case is not as simple as they tried to come off as. (CONTINUE ON TO PART TWO)

Tuesday, October 21, 2003


Just sitting here.... going through a ton of email. I have lost count how many paint shop pro lists I am on but I am never ever without email. There are days I think I really need to get off of some lists because when I do not get online my mail becomes unbearable. It can even get overwhelming. Then there are days that I love going through email and taking my time and downloading stuff and so on. Geez-I wish I could make up my mind. Now so far this week has started off quiet so that is a good thing. I am glad...I think I have had enough excitement for now. I am working on an official page to introduce everyone to my soon as it is finished I will definitely let all you know. I am also working on a website for my lil guy. He sees that everyone else in the house makes their own or has their own and he wants one that he can share. So I am doing that also. When that is finished I will definitely post it here...I think it is going to be just TOO cute. He is actually helping me with it. He is picking out his pics and what he wants to say. He really floors me with his lil insight into life. I just thought of some news...I know I mentioned how we have way too many cars for one household-my hunnie and sons love to work on engines. Well I kept warning them that the county does not like cars in the front yard-but do you think anyone listened to me-NO...well the county was making its round and sure enough they tagged 7 of our cars..yes I said 7. So hunnie and the boys had 10 days to get rid of 7 cars or make them disappear so that the county does not see them. It has been a mad dash to insanity here. Personally I have sat back and watched...maybe next time they will listen to big mama here..well I am off to do more email..PEACE!!!!!!

Sunday, October 19, 2003


I realize I just dropped out of sight-for that I here has gotten abit chaotic for a while. I will try to explain without boring anyone-I have had my nephew since the end of May.... trying to help out his mom...His mom was staying at the apartment that they shared with some other people. Well she has decided it is time to come home. We have done this before- but this time it is overwhelming me...I think there can only be one queen in the house and that is me. Granted I am ill but I am not dead. And it is my house. But when others come in and try to take over and change the way things are done-I start to freak out because I just do not handle change very well. Sound foolish yet? Well now the lil guy is playing everyone against each other because he does not know who to listen to. Not for anything but it has taken us all summer to get him settled and to stop the crying fits and tantrums. But now they are back. She wants to take over my house but also at the same time-my kids and I are still the ones getting him up for school and getting him ready and giving him a bath at night and getting him ready for bed and so on and so forth-I am sure you are getting the point. I have tried to be polite in responding to all this but it does not seem to sink in. Anyway-thus the chaos. Well now I am just playing hermit in my lil puter room and letting all things go crazy. All my kids have been raised to speak their minds and say what is on their minds instead of playing games-so she has already come across that. When I am approach about things they are doing or saying or whatever it may be-my answer is simply- that I do not sweat the small stuff because I know they are good kids and I am not worried about that.... this is not satisfactory to her-OH WELL. I guess I could go on and on but it gives me a headache just thinking about all this garbage...I know this is just the beginning of the adventure-keep your fingers crossed because it is going to be a long ride-lol. I just needed to vent... and now I am off to watch some great football and do my own thing. Happy Sunday All-PEACE!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2003


Finally I made it on the puter to do some journaling and go through my email...again I slept most of the day-the worst time of year for me is when it is hot out and I have a cold or flu or seems the hot weather just makes you feel worse. I cannot believe we are just about half way through october and we are still sweltering in the heat here in the sunshine state. This is crazy-the dogs don't even want to be outside. To make matters just a tad worse-the ac unit in my puter room seems to want to give up the ghost. This just cannot be-Well anyway that explains the bouncie that I have on my journal this entry-because that is exactly how the heat makes you feel today. Lord I do miss those beautiful cool autumn nights..but I just cannot do snow (of which I have stated a dozen times I am sure). NEXT subject-I really have to get on the ball and start making more sig tags-I seem to have fallen behind. I love being creative that way. I also have to start taking pics again-now that I have let go for way toooo long. Did I mention before that I love paint shop pro (a type of art program) and I so love making tags and such. I think I am getting good at it but that is just my opinion. If you ever need a tag made for you or would like to see what kinds of art stuff I do just ask-I love to share. Well if someone has a solution to the heat here let me know-otherwise if you do not hear from me I have definitely withered away..PEACE!!!!

Monday, October 13, 2003


Another weekend has come and gone...and I totally wasted it away...this cold is really getting a hold of me and all I could do is sleep...but hopefully my body has gotten enough sleep. Things are quiet on the homefront. This weekend, everyone did their own thing-my kids are growing up faster then I realized. It feels like just yesterday I was taking everyone to their designated clubs, friend's houses, parks, whatever the case and today they are driving themselves, telling me they will see me by dinner time. WOW--I seem to have more free time then I know what to do with. I put the bouncies on this entry so that it would add a lil cheering up on a monday morning. I think these lil things are contagious...LOL. The only complaint I have lately is that I am waiting for the weather to cool is so hot and humid still in the good old sunshine state that I am praying for the day that I can wear sweatpants and get all cozy in bed...I guess I do prefer the colder weather-but I just cannot stand snow. I think I already wrote that previously...but cool weather and getting cozy is definitely my kind of weather. I am sure I will write more later...I can tell that I am not making much sense right now... so I will see you all later-PEACE!!!!!!

Friday, October 10, 2003


Allen has a great love of life and is highly dedicated to his family...we come first and foremost and are the only things on his mind...He has been in law enforcement for the last 18 years and only has 8 years left...that is when we plan on hopping on a motorcycle and travelling the states... going through the smokey mountains and just enjoying time with each other. Allen is definitely a big kid at heart and has a wonderful way of looking at life. The only thing that got me through the roughest times so far with my illness and the law suit was Allen-his strength and perseverance was never ending. He is a motor fool.... if he sees a car or motor he just has to play and fix and get down and dirty, but I realy do not mind...because both our hobbies always surround being at home and doing things with our kids. Everything we do we do with our kids...if our kids are not involved we are not involved and it has been a wonderful way to raise a family. He is the first to jump outside to do the family dance and definitely loves to embarass us all every chance just to get us to laugh- at first I thought I would never get over this but it is contagious and so fun to act so crazy. He really has made all my dreams come true and tries his best to make sure I always have a smile on my face. What a great way to live 24/7. Our kids also have the same philosophy- so if you are a friend of theirs you have to expect to be just as crazy and carefree as us.... it works in keeping a family together in such a negative world around us.I just wanted to share a small insight to this great man of mine...True Love Makes All Things Wonderful-PEACE!!!!


I guess it is time for me to fill everyone in on the Love of my Life...his name is Allen. We met at work...I do not suggest this as a regular place to meet but it happened. He apparently had been watching me for a long time because he was attracted to my long long hair... all the curls and such-and slowly but surely our jobs brought us together. Allen is a sargeant in law enforcement with the Department of Corrections. Not a officer-sargeant..apparently there is a difference. I was working in the mental health department as an institutional counselor implementing psychological tests on inmates just coming into the the job atmosphere is quite stressful and keeps you on your toes...well one thing of course led to another and we both knew deep in our hearts that we were soulmates..I really never thought I would believe in such a term but I do. He has brought a whole new meaning to my life of which I will be forever grateful. I know that I know that God has brought us together..we fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces. He has to be so serious and on top of things at work-but on the outside of those gates...he has the most wildest sense of humor I have ever come across. Read on to part two......

Wednesday, October 8, 2003


Okay..where was I...his mom only gave birth to this child but his heart is mine...he really can come out with some wild philosophies that make adults stop in their tracks. The only problem we have now is that Anthony is lighter and smaller then any dog we have at our every day when he arrives home he always winds up at the bottom of a dog pile up... they love him to death-probably because he is just about the same size as him...but he gets so frustrated because as in his words "they think I am their chew toy". What a kick...above are some typical pics of the lil guy. He loves to pose for the camera there is no problem there- and he has the family dance down to a a matter of fact when he comes home with good notes and such we all have to do the family dance...he can wiggle those He loves to get under cars and inside motors like the boys and Uncle Allen and get as dirty and grimmie so that he feels he is helping...he is now at a stag where he has heard friends of the kids call the older kids brothers or is that your sister? and such - so his new revelation is that since he has been living here so long he is also a brother .... and we need to get used to that..all this from a five year old. WOW he really amazes me. Well I think I pretty much summed up Anthony-and of course he will he about him off and on in my journal-he is such a key part to our lives.. PEACE!!!


Another day has gone by.... before I get into my lil story... I have slept the last 23 out of 24 hours...I think my body has finally given into being sick and now wants to rest and recover...(thank God) it took my body long enough to really relax...and the sleep felt wonderful. Believe it or not I am in very good spirits.... I have thought long and hard about my health and everything I have gone through.... and I am not done hang in there with me folks and just keep positive thoughts for me..Everything will be alright....My faith is going to carry me through all this. Okay- today's story has to do with my lil nephew...I already explained that he lives with started with a two week vacation to hang out in may and he is still here. Of course under my insistence. He belongs to my ex-sister in law (yes you read that right) but I have never and will never turn down family when they need is just not in me-she needed to get out of a drowning situation and I have a home that she can have also. This lil guy is 5 years old and his name is Anthony...the light of my life...he has taught me to look at life so differently that I owe him the world. He has such an energy and curiosity about life and how things are that it really makes me stop and I have taken some things for granted and he just relishes in it. Five year olds are wonderful. He just started kindergarden---it was rough the first three weeks of school-alot of acting out-alot of refusing to do anything but with alot of consistentcy and understanding all that is behind him and he is the teacher's delight. In the pic he is wearing my motorcycle cap being cool with his uncle as they fix our motorcycle- he believes that whatever the older kids are doing he can do really is a trip to watch (onto part two)....

Tuesday, October 7, 2003


For a couple of days now I have been trying to add entries to my journal but something wacky is going on ..... I have never seen such error messages and then tons of plus signs in between words...for about two hours I could not delete an entry because it threw all the entries out of whack for some reason... finally I got it deleted. I wonder what is happening. I wrote this long wonderful explanation about my nephew who lives with me.... but I am going to hold off on that because I do not know what is going to happen when I go to post this entry. I really did miss adding entries - how strange.... I guess I am hooked. Well I finally did see a doctor yesterday about my lungs and all- I have been going to see this doctor for three years now-he is a nice enough person and has never deceived me so I find him safe to go to....Well there was not a lot of good news.... I guess he is setting up some tests because he suspects that there is some sort of obstruction growing in my esophagus (did I spell that right) that is causing even more problems to my lungs...he also suspects that if he finds what he thinks is there- they will be sending it to a lab to see if it is cancerous. Yes the BIG 'C'...of course i cried all the way home and cried more when I got home and cried all night...but right now I am okay. For the last three years I have been fighting everything having to do with my lungs and have become stronger emotionally for it.... I just need to sort my feelings through and then move on with whatever is going to happen. Well..... outside of that dear ol' tampa bay bucs lost last night after leading the entire game until the last 4 minutes.... I just could not watch anymore....broke my heart to see the world champs lose what they had gained... well on with some email..more later-PEACE!!!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2003


What a crazy and insane day I have had...I am sure you all remember me saying that I was not feeling too well.... I have been fighting a heck of a disease and some days are better then others..well this week has been quite rough. I had a doctor's appointment today-Well we started off hunnie driving me to the appointment. The doctor is about 40 minutes from my house- Well we were three blocks away and the car died. Now if I was your normal person you would say why didn't you just walk the rest of the way...well I am not normal- I cannot breathe just going from one room in my house to another...much less walk three blocks in 95 degree temps uphill to the doc. The alternator died right in the middle of one of the busiest intersections...but fear not- the police and fire department just happen to show up-the police stopped all traffic and the firemen pushed the vechicle to the gas station right next to the intersection.WOW- what wonderful people they were. Then my hunnie had to walk about 1/2 a mile away to a auto parts store because the alternator needed to be replaced...then he had to walk back and then change parts. I call the doctor to tell them we are only 3 blocks away and I am coming...and he is gone...yes off to the hospital to do rounds...and the next available appointment is thanksgiving week. Well that put me over the edge- I feel so miserable and cannot see the doc. UNBELIEVEABLE. Well the doctor probably heard about me being sick and calling that he told his nurse to squeeze me first thing monday morning (Thank God) so I just have to make it through this weekend. Now doesn't that make for a great start to the weekend...the good news is that the car works good now-LOL. Even better news is that one of my sons was home when we finally made it there. He saw how sick I was and made a grocery list out and did all the grocery shopping for me so that I would not have to worry about it. WOW- am I blessed or what!!!!The other son came home and cleaned the house for me....and my daughter did laundry- I do not know what I would do without my kids-they are absolutely AWESOME!!! Well just wanted to share my adventures of today-PEACE!!!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2003


Well I think I am losing the battle abit here with getting sick... I am feeling abit draggy right I thought I would add an animated fairy so cheer me up at least while I write. I wanted to take a quick moment and express how I feel about people I have been meeting lately.... I found so many warm and wonderful people online that have started off as strangers yet have touched my life with some beautiful and kind words. People reading my journal and then emailing me or leaving me a message with words of encouragement and all. I realize that I mentioned all this the other day...but as times goes on and I hear from more and more people I am amazed that without meeting me people can sense who I am deep down through my writing and only have good things to say to me...I am just so floored by peoples' kindness and joyful words... WOW!!! It seems to escape me some simple thought or a few words to express what the kindess of others has made me feel. I know that everyone has their own lil soap opera going on in their lives, everyone does..that is just human nature...but just speaking for me..these positive words and kindness really have touched more then just my heart-they have started to help me heal emotionally from the battles I have been through the last three years being sick...I promise to go into this battle soon...but finally a small part of me is healing and feeling like it can get back to normal and that is the greatest gift someone could have given me. Not only can one person make a difference but simple kind words can save a life.... THANKS to all you special have reached out your hand and truly touched my heart....PEACE!!!!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2003


WOW... this year is really flying by, I feel like I have missed something. October is a wonderful month I think...up north the leaves start changing to the most beautiful colors God has ever created and in the can actually go outside and tolerate the temps. I think that is what I miss most about living up north-I am originally from New York..born and raised there-never thought I would leave there-but here I am in the sunshine state..Like I was saying-I miss the leaves changing colors and the air getting that cool nip that you have to start wearing your favorite sweaters and snuggling. I definitely do not miss snow tho...I think I have shovelled enough snow to last me a lifetime, I really dislike driving in it, shoveling it, and walking in it. I went to college at the University of Buffalo and that has got to be the snow capital of the U.S.. I think the only month I never saw snow was in July. Blizzards up there were just a part of everyday life and the city would rarely close down. Walking through all that white stuff just to get to classes would make me crazy....I think that is why the sunshine state appealed to me.... I absolutely love the beaches and the ocean... the sound of waves is the most hypnotic and peaceful sound I have ever come across. Just walking along a beach makes life seem so at ease and quiet. I live about 20-25 minutes from the beach so if I ever get the itch to just get away from it all that is where I head to. Now it is time to scope out the pumpkin patch farms and get some enormous pumpkins to decorate. My teenagers like to do the carving but the excitement is not the same for them anymore. But we have my 5 year old nephew living with us-so he is all into the pumpkins looking wild and the fun of picking them out- seeing life through his eyes really makes everyday things so much more special. Well I think I will go through the newspaper and see what farms are starting their programs here... enjoy the colors of fall-PEACE!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 30, 2003


Monday is over and I really had not noticed. Boy was I ever lazy today. I just have not been feeling up to par and the minute my body felt like sleeping I indulged it. It was wonderful. Just to relax and vegetate in front of the T.V. or sleep. I watched all kinds of fun programs and just enjoyed the laziness of the day. I think everyone should have one of these days... just every so often to do absolutely nothing and vegetate... no deadlines, no stress, no phone calls...just relax and let your mind relax. I know many people who cannot do that.... they have to keep so very busy otherwise they fall apart... Thank God I do not have to be that way...I used to.... but when the stress gets so bad that it overtakes your life, thinking and personality it is time to re-evaluate and try something else. Life is way too short not to take a day just to do don't even clean the house or make the bed...just keep on your most comfortable clothes and enjoy doing nothing. I am getting to the point where not feeling well is pushing closer and closer to that edge.... I am so SICK AND TIRED of being SICK AND TIRED.... I do not remember what it was like to be well at this point... so I guess I have alot of those lazy days... it is better for my emotional well being to think of them as lazy days rather than getting sick again... trying to stay on an up note here. Take a Lazy Day for yourself...just do not wait until you are sick to do it...Trust me....PEACE!!!!!

Sunday, September 28, 2003


YES!!!!!!! You read it right-----I am a grandmother------

Name: Jazmyne Leigh

Born: September 25th 2003 at 3:22pm

Weight: 6lbs 3ozs

Length: 18 1/2 inches

Baby..Mommy...Daddy--all doing GREAT!!!!!


Welcome Jazmyne!!!!!

Saturday, September 27, 2003


Yesterday was quite an eye opener for me. I was so honored to be chosen as the editor's #1 pick and thrilled that so many people checked out my journal...after all it is here for anyone to look at and walk away with something. I was not ready to receive some WONDERFUL touching emails from people that actually told me that my journal meant so much to them, or that my journal really touched them so much that it inspired them to start a journal of their own. WOWOW!!! That is probably the highest compliment I could have ever received. Imagine-my simple no nothing journal that I just get to say what is on my mind and how I feel about things and my perspective on life actually inspires another human being. I have always believed in the philosophy that one person can make a difference. I used to teach youthful offenders that were in the state prison that they had the ability to change the world around them...that it only takes one person...and sure enough my own philosophy has come back to me to prove me right. It is so surreal for me-and simple words just cannot explain the feeling that words-just my words-can make others feel inspired enough to do something positive. That is so AWESOME. I printed out those emails to save in my scrapbook just so I know that my life is worth something. I think every once in a while everyone needs to feel that way-that we make a difference to the people around us whether or not we know them. As crazy as it may seem this journal really has brought a new meaning to my life-a new purpose of sorts that I plan on cherishing. I know that may sound mellow-dramatic but like I said simple words really cannot describe that feeling. Keeping this journal and creating things in my paint shop pro program are such stress relievers and I think worth every second spent on them. I love to create and make sig tags and such for others-because it makes them feel good and special. So now my journal does too- that is tremendous in my world. Well just wanted to share that tidbit with everyone..I hope you truly know that YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE- with words you say, things you do, comments you write, well you get the idea....PEACE!!!!!

Friday, September 26, 2003


WOWOWOW!!!!! What a wonderful surprise to click on the link to the main page for journals to see my face plastered there as the editor's number one choice for today! How awesome is that. I am so very very excited and so very thankful to AOL and the editors that picked me, words seem to escape me at this point. I am also so grateful to all those members that have come and checked out my journal and even left comments. It is wonderful. This was a GREAT surprise of which I will remember for a very long time. I will really wish I knew how the editor's came to their decision...I really did not think I had anything special going here...other than sharing my thoughts and my opinions. I did receive an email about 10 days or so ago that I was being considered for it...but never imagined that I would actually get picked... WOW...I know I will keep up with my seems the majority of people really liked it and liked the things I had to say..which really touches my heart. This really brought up my spirits....If you do check out my journal PLEASE leave a comment with the url for your journal...I think I am going to start sharing links to other journals that also touch my heart or have decent things to is only fair to share and share alike.... so if anyone wants to exchange links-definitely let me know...Well just quickly-the weekend is finally here..again my kids all have plans of their own so I guess that gives me time to work on puter stuff that I have been putting updating my websites and such.... it is suppose to rain all weekend so it is the perfect time to play inside!!! AGAIN thanks aol and you Editors for picking my journal-I am truly honored...PEACE!!!!


Yes I disappearred for a couple of days...have been quite sick and still trying to recover...kidney infections are not something I wish on anyone...very painful. But I think the worst of it is over. Other than that, it has been a typical week in our merry lil household. Kids busy doing their own things, zoo causing chaos in the house, and hunnie and I hiding in the puter room away from everything..LOL. I really look forward to the weather cooling off a bit-the humidity seems to be hanging in the late in the season. It is suppose to rain all weekend long-UGH! Which means the kids will probably be more in the house then out. Have I mentioned yet that now both my sons have their driver's license. One son has had it since august but the other one just got it two days ago. Lordy watch out on those roads. I will say that both boys think our vechicles are their pleasure to drive in-I DON'T THINK SO!!! It has come as a shock to both of them-however these are also the two that have a couple of cars each sitting in my it seems it is not so much fun having a vechicle and working on it and pouring money into it when there are other vechicles that run perfectly-boy were they surprised when their dad and I announced get your own car on the road, register it, get insurance for it and then you will have something to drive. They looked at us like we had 12 heads each- A look only a mother could love-and a lesson they were not ready to learn. Well hopefully this weekend will be a run of the mill weekend...I could sure use the rest. PEACE!!!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003


I say that tuesday was a bust because absolutely nothing happened that inspired me to write about it. Just another regular day in the neighborhood. I am sure I have mentioned it before but I am going to mention it again because some good news has arrived in that particular area of my life. I love collecting-collecting alot of things. I just seem to fall in love with something and must have as many about it as possible. I think that makes me an obsessive pack rat. But that is okay, I am quite proud of that title. Well as I have mentioned before I collect business cards, among many other things..I enjoy collecting business cards because it really is a cheap hobby to have. As you go to places you just picked up a business card and add it to your collection. The only thing you have to pay for are the sleeve protectors to put them in for display and a binder to organize those sleeve protectors. I even belong to an official Business Card Collectors is a wonderful group..we trade business cards and such and share information about unique cards that we come across. My collection is quite small compared to the majority of members but I am happy with my collection. I am what is referred to a general collector because I really have nothing specific that I look for as far as BC cards are concerned. But that is just a personal preference. Well the point of my lil story is that my hunnie met some really cool people from England through a email group he belongs to.... through conversations with them he happened to mention that I collect BC's... he explained my small obsession and they thought that it was quite unique and different. Well they took it one step further and told a friend of theirs that owns a pub (bar) in England and she now has a box on her bar for people to place their business cards in and it is labeled for "An American Collector" yep that is me. Is that so very sweet of them. They also went another step further and have bought a BC album which is decorated with the flag of England to put them all in so that when they have enough cards to fill it they are going to send it to me. WOW!!! I am so touched by their just blows me away...People really surprise the daylights out of me. I think it is awesome of them and I am thrilled beyond simple words. I just thought I would share that bit of good news with you all..... PEACE!!!!!!

Monday, September 22, 2003


Well monday has come and gone and no major problems have arisen...Thank God. There was only one major project that had to be tackled and that was to do the brakes on my van. My son Eric got his driver's license in August (UGH!) and now he prefers to drive to high school rather than take the bus...I guess if I were 18 I would want to drive to school also. Growing up the high school was a short walk from our home so there was no way my parents would let me take the car to school. Well it has turned out okay so far because he is very willing to run errands and such and in turn he gets to go to the movies without having his parents drop him off and he gets to go places without waiting on mom and dad...I know that is important to the ego of an 18 year old boy. Well the brakes are now shot in my van...he knew that if he wanted to take my van to school he would have to fix the took him a couple of hours but my van now has new brakes..(YEAYEAYEA) The reason for the rose picture is because I needed to look at pure beauty right now...the weather is going crazy here in the sunshine state and plants are slowly withering this rose (that is in the front of my house) just looks so beautiful I had to share it with all of you...I think the pic came out great...I just love digital cameras. The lil one came home with another smilie face, so he got to go bike riding all afternoon and really tired himself out because he crashed by 8:30 tonight. His personality is really coming out and he is one of the funniest lil ones I have ever come has been such a joy in my life to have him around. It is awesome to see the world through his eyes and he is alot sharper then most people give him credit for-it amazes me. I have found being VERY upfront with him and telling him exactly how things are is for the best. Some parents like to shield their child with half truths and answering a question the long way around...but not with him... he knows when someone is bluffing in a way and it really aggravates him. I think that is one of the qualities I like most about him. Well I am glad monday is over and tomorrow is another day to have fun in... PEACE!!!!!  (P.S. enjoy the rose)

Sunday, September 21, 2003


Finally the plumbers arrived yesterday to redo our drainage field and the pipes leading to our house. To start off this adventure the dump trucks showed up with piles and piles of different kinds of dirt...yes left it right in our front yard..lovely site to behold. To make matters a bit more aggravating they ran over our crepe myrtle plants-we waiting two years for those plants to bloom and they were gone in a second. Also the trucks got stuck in our that was totally torn more nice looking ditch that was professionally done by the county for us...UGH! Then the plumbers arrived early to start digging the new drainage field next to the old one... did I mention yet that the tractor/ditch digger was toooooo heavy for that part of the yard so it tore it beyond recognition. So all the vechicles that are sitting in our yard had to moved in a mad dash so that the tractor could enter the property from the other end. Well the tractor was tooooo heavy period. Our backyard now looks like a mud bogging field...I do not think there is one stray piece of grass left standing. Three quarters of an acre of a backyard pure dirt and mud...what a lovely site to see....NOT! Well they spent 8 hours redoing it all....300 gallon tanks being brought in and more pipes then there are in a hardware store. Total insanity. Of course now imagine that my 5 dogs are losing their minds because strangers are in our yard and they cannot go outside. Thank God for heavy duty Glass on the sliding glass doors... they were the only things between raging dogs and the very nice messy men. No of course they are not done yet- later today they are bringing a different tractor that is not so heavy to smooth out everything and connect the pipes. This also will take place very early in the morning. I just want my bathroom back... my room looks like a cyclone hit it with the kids going back and forth...of course we have a huge bed in our bedroom and our room is ultra cold from the AC so all the kids just had to lay in our bed and watch movies and hang out...nothing new just added to the chaos tho. We will see what the rest of sunday brings. To make matters abit more interesting it is suppose to rain---oh yea mud fields here we come.   PEACE!!!!!

Saturday, September 20, 2003


I have stuck notes in the pockets of their jackets and inside gloves-or in a school book... if I missed too many days in a row,my children would come home quite upset with me and ask where their note was..again just making the best of life so simply and with joy.Two of my boys are 18 and they still want their notes- they have said their notes make them feel special. Isn't that awesome! Then there is the camera-I have taken pics of everything and anything. My kids love this. I take pics of everyday things and they are just as into it as I am.They are always after me to get my camera and come see something because they now want pics taken of whatever it happens to be. Pics are not just for special occasions. Pictures are to show every day life and how much fun and wonderful it is. You would be surprised how much a simple pic can speak volumes to your kids. It is the little things that have made raising kids such a joy. It is very expensive to raise a child now a days. I just could not afford buying new clothes constantly-and with that many kids it was not financially wise...but there are stores like GoodWill. My kids love to go to these places to buy tons of fun t-shirts and shorts and jeans and such...these are clothes they can play in, hang out in, whatever without worrying about how expensive things are. There is no shame in it...and if you have done this from when they were very little it is nothing to them. My kids have gotten some of their friends into it is a contest to see who can find "cool" t-shirts. We also give back to GoodWill by bringing any clothes that do not fit anymore and books that we have all read already. It is just a big form of recycling and your children are better off. I really have a problem with children playing all over the roads no where near their homes. In this day and age, there are too many 'sick' individuals out there waiting to get a child (that is reality) so my belief is that if you want to play with your friends, bring them on over.They are being supervised by my hunnie and me and everyone is safe and I know what they are doing.A 'creative' house because there are kids in and out all day long. Playing video games, listening to music, watching movies, playing on the puter, riding go-karts...etc. Well I guess you can see where my philosophy is leading....right now I have to go wait for the plumbers and open the gates for them. PEACE!!!!

TOES GO IN FIRST-PART TWO continue on..I believe that your house has to be geared towards your kids..there is plenty of time after your children are grown up and out on their own to worry about how good your house looks and how precious your 'things' are. My belief is that people have become more concerned with things then people..remember this is just my belief. Again- I am not my mother so I like to have dishes that are hard plastics and colorful-not glass or pottery that if broken it just irks you that you do not have the perfect set again. The bedrooms should be decorated in the child's eye, what they perceive to be cool and fun and something that they really want to play in and sleep in and have friends over in. When I was growing up I had this awesome and beautiful doll collection. Dolls from all over the world that my parents had collected for me while I was growing up..the secret was I was not allowed to touch or play with them. They were there on special shelves in my room just for the what kind of fun is that? I refused to do that to my daughter-if it is in her room it was fair game. That is what 'toys' are for. To be played with and handled and enjoyed. One of the biggest secrets we have going with our kids is we have a family dance...yes you read that right-a family dance. The tune is "Can't Touch This" (by MC Hammer). The point is everytime someone came home with good news, exciting news,fun news...we all went outside in the middle of the street and danced to that song....we would hum it loud and danced...our neighbors do not pay attention-and if they have-they think we are not your ordinary family anyway. We have done this ever since our kids were young and still do it to this kids have no inhibitions about this and it has gotten to the point that they come home with good news and announce when they come home that everyone needs to go outside to do the family dance. How awesome is that? Just celebrating life. Also since they were very young- I have always written lil notes and have snuck them inside their lunch bags or back packs (whatever) just to tell them something for the day-like "I love you", "You are the world's greatest Kid", "can't wait to see you after school", "I'm sending Big Kisses Your way", whatever it is I felt like writing. These notes, if you ask my kids meant the world to them. (Onto Part Three)

Friday, September 19, 2003

T.G.I.F. (Toes Go In First)

Okay-I am abit more ready to divulge abit more of myself...I have led a colorful and eventful life to say the least. When friends and co-workers, neighbors, even family hear of things that occur in my life they have a habit of trying to get me to write a book or books on different subjects of what I have gone through...I am still going to keep you all in some suspense but If I had to start on a book-and I have seriously thought about this one for a long time-it would be about raising children. No I do not claim to be an expert in any way, shape, or form. Far from it. But my way of raising children has caught many people off guard and believe it or not they are truly amazed at things that we do and how they have worked. It is not difficult to do the things we have done-nor does it take alot of effort-just a joy for life and your kids. I figured every once in a while I would throw in my lil quips and stories about my kids and what we do in our house to make it a home. Let me start by saying I am not my mother. Do not get me wrong-Lord I love my parents-they are still around and kicking at the young age of 80. They are people who do all they could for the children and raised us to be independent and go for the gusto. Our family trips and get togethers and family outings, dinners, movies, shopping sprees, everything was always centered around giving their kids the best that they could.For that and their unending support- I will always admire and be thankful for. My mom is also a NEAT freak...I am not. I am a firm believer that a crazy house is a creative house-and that definitely describes my house. I did not want furniture that my children could not cuddle up on and enjoy and have friends sit on and so on- I remember that from growing up and always thought then what was the point of having furniture. I wanted my children to be able to do crafts on my kitchen table instead of just using it for meals and only for meals- isn't that what tables are for. We have two bathrooms in my that is in the masterbedroom and one for the kids. The one for the kids is the main bathroom for guests also...but that bathroom is not all prim and proper with special towels and no no it is a bathroom decorated by kids with murals and cartoons and fun things to check out...I am probably running out of space here so I will continue this lil lecture a lil later on....PEACE!!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2003


Tomorrow is my baby's birthday.......... I just can't believe has time has flown by... she will be turning 14 years old and she is just so full of life, laughter, and compassion. I am speechless really when it comes to describing my baby...she has been through the bad and the good.... that most people do not see in a lifetime yet her bright spirit keeps going...I really admire her. Her brother Eric really wants to just drive her crazy for her birthday.... and the fun has already begun. She was sitting in the puter room with me and Eric came in and asked what is the date today..she of course had to chime in and say DON'T forget my birthday is tomorrow..and I expect gifts and cards to start at midnight.... well of course he had to meet her terms sort of speak and mooned her.... just right then and there.... the expression on her face was PRICELESS... and I laughed my tushie did she... Eric really can come up with some wild things....and that was wonderful. She did not expect it from him because he is more conservative that way with her.... he is the funniest but acts very much the big brother with her rather then the clown.... so the mooning was is going to be a long night of craziness here at the old homestead but I just know it is going to be fun.... having three teenagers in the house definitely makes life interesting to say the least. I will let you all know what happens next.... and of course pics are going to be put up about the birthday. PEACE!!!!


Another night gone and nothing accomplished. At around 8:30 last night I tried to sign on to AOL like I  always do however this time was a bit different... I could not connect... nope...silly me followed all the lovely directions you get when there is a problem and nothing helped. I tried for over two hours to get on... then my computer savvy son came home from wherever it was he took off to-so I told him that there has to be some wire/cable that has come loose from the puter... I tried to reset, reconnect, redo cables and lines... drove myself into frustration frenzy, and then gave into that lil voice in the back of my head that said call AOL. Lord I hate calling AOL.... first you have to deal with a voice recording for the first 15 minutes...before you find the right extension you are suppose to press... then i waited another 15-20 minutes before someone (an actual human) came on line and helped me... I could not believe there was a real person-I thought it was a voice recording well I explained my problem but off course I had to answer 5 minutes of questions about my system and identifying information and version of AOL.... and after all this (now it has been about 3 hours of dealing with not being able to get online) I am told that AOL is off line from Connecticut all the way down the east coast to central east florida (of course where I live). So I screwed with my system for nothing. I was told something about how the lines are being kept clear because of the hurricane that is going to hit the Carolinas. I guess they wanted to keep the lines ready for emergency purposes... I think the tech person was guessing as much as I was... but it made sense.... I would not mind really but I don't like playing around with my system because the error message said it had to be my fault-when other friends of mine in florida in my area also had the same problem-it can't all be our systems...Well I am thrilled to be back online and now I can go through the 700 emails sitting in my box and figure out what to do with them-yes I know there is a delete button but I belong to lists and if I did not want their mail why would I be on their lists--this just means I will be online for quite sometime. We will see what the rest of the day brings....PEACE!!!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2003


Another morning has arrived and another night of sleep has eluded me... I could not get into that REM sleep...every 30 minutes I was up and only became more frustrated that I could not sleep-vicious cycle. Well my creative juices are not flowing yet- I seem not to be able to get in the flow of things...but hopefully something will kick in soon. The big news lately has been the weather...I guess that hurricane looks like it wants to check out the the wonderful Florida coast is fairly safe...That is a slight relief for us-but I worry about the people further north. All last night and today it has been raining here, I guess we needed the rain but it just makes it miserable to look outside-rain seems to change people's moods.I personally am not a rain person- I prefer the fall type of sunny days-where it is nice and cool outside and the sun is shinning-now that I could live with 24/7. I do have one complaint today-it seems that once I get rolling with a thought for my journal I am highly limited by AOL and how many total characters I can have. This is putting a bit of a crimp in my style. I hear threw the grapevine that this might be changing in the near future-i hope so- I think people will start really going crazy expressing themselves and AOL will be surprised at how hot this journal thing is. Expressing oneself can never be limited to so many set characters- it must be allowed to flow and stop when the thought/idea/moment decides to come and go. IF you are reading this-PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT- I would love to hear what others have to say.... PEACE!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2003


Just Playing around today in paint shop pro and finishing up some odds and ends that I had to do. Still no sleep here...figures-I think I just have way too much on my mind to just relax-why I do not know. Everyone is home from school or wherever it is they had to go-so the house is full of hustle and bustle and the dogs are going crazy because they cannot go outside in the front yard and tackle the kids. I am trying to get ahead on my paperwork for homeschooling but the motivation is just not there right now. I guess I do not have the same discipline as my parents or siblings. They all seem to be well organized and just do what has to get done but that is just so not me. I guess I am the odd one in the bunch...I always had to be different. Anyway- The lil one (my nephew) came home with smilie faces today so I made sure one of the others kids took him out to go bike riding. That is his passion right now-he also had a smile from ear to ear because he knew he did well so how could I not make sure that he could go bike riding. One son is working on some car he got-a ford probe. I know nothing about cars-tho if you look at our yard you would think I would know alot but alas-my boys and my hunnie have this strange habit of wanting to work on as many cars as possible. Yes we are the neighbors you do not want. There are always strange noises coming from our garage and cars are our middle names...scary isn't it. But I cannot stop them really because I indulge in so many passions of my own that I really have no place to say they can play with their passions. Tho I am waiting for my hunnie to get done working on the motorcycle so that we can go riding. We love leaving in the late hours (when it is cooler) and just ride all night long everywhere. Then we watch the sunrise and it is off to home to get the household ready for another day-AWWW that is what I am waiting for. Well- I am off to check on the kids--PEACE!!!!!!


Again I am up during the wee hours of the morning.... actually I have no set sleeping time but it would be nice if all my lil nap time sleeps could get together and let me have an 8 hours stretch of sleep..well maybe that is not in the stars for me. Actually my best creative time is during the early morning hours when it is so quiet in the house and there are no distractions. I managed so far to get through a ton of email. I even sent off mail to all the lists I run, made some tags for a few people and downloaded alot of tubes to use for other I guess I am off to a good start today. I decided to write another entry just to have this date written down somewhere that I actually got some things accomplished. I hear you all laughing hysterically at this point however for me this is a major hurtle I have overcome. I always remember my mom being so organized and matching sure everything had a place but I am definitely not my mother. My basic philosophy is that I have children who are going to grow and make messes and break things and so on and so why have a house where you care more about things then your children... Once they are all grown and on their own there will be plenty of time to have the "perfect" lil house with wonderful things that won't get broken...I love having a home where you can come in and take off your shoes and feel so comfortable to put your feet up on the coffee table and help yourself to whatever there is in the fridge and if you are hungry enough-cook yourself something. Mi Casa es Su Casa... I do not like formalities or a place where you are afraid to touch anything-that is my mother's house. Awwwww. I can feel the creative juices really hitting now so I am off to scrapbooking some more pages....PEACE!!!!!!

Monday, September 15, 2003


I have been up for a couple of hours now.... just could not sleep soundly-tossing and turning is not my idea of a good night's rest. So I have been online trying to get through way too much email and enjoying the quiet and peacefullness of the house. Even the dogs are just laying around being mellow. I have alot of paperwork to do to get my homeschooling things in order. I have definitely been laxed in that area. The kids are doing their work-it is me who is unorganized. Another project I really have to work on is my scrapbooking. I know this is a big fad but I found it to be really expensive after a while.... and it was definitely too much for me to keep using regular film and cutting up pics my parents have kept for the 50 something years they have been together. So I scanned all the pics my family would let me get my grubby lil hands on and found a program that you can do scrapbooking on the puter. It is absolutely wonderful and the albums I have already done in the past as gifts were a hit...I highly recommend doing scrapbooks this way....less mess, less expensive, and it goes so much more quicker. Anyway-did I mention that the kids cleaned up the front and back yards and cut the grass and now it also looks wonderful. The picture above is my lil pond garden that my children made me two years ago for mother's day. It is so nice to look at and the goldfish that live in it love it too. People in the neighborhood have stopped by to check it out- it is a great conversation Well I am off to get somewhat organized-PEACE!!!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2003


What a quiet day today has been. I have not slept well-only about 90 minutes in total. Too restless, still too upset over losing a friend, and just feeling kind of quiet and pensive. The plumbers never arrived- at about 3 this afternoon, we finally received a call, the parts needed for our pipes and drainage field did not come in, so the work has been delayed for another week. Lord- it figures, just another disappointment. You really do not think about pipes until you no longer have use for most of them. I think I will just vegetate the rest of the day-really not feeling up to par and really feel empty as what to say today. Usually the topics are just swirling in my head and I always have to make a choice-but not today. Just overthinking today. (which is not always good). Even the kids are extra quiet and calm...interesting. On with the football games and off to lay back on the recliner.  PEACE!!!!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2003


I have had many friends in my lifetime..... wonderful people who have touched my life in many ways-too numerous to even explain. Then this wonderful invention of the internet comes along and it opens up a whole new world of discovery for me. I find that I make even more wonderful friends but this relationship is different. You become friends simply by expressing yourself in words. Not deeds, not looks, not "doing" things together but just simply by words. You share things online through words that cannot compare with anything else. An emotional bond starts and is nourished and grows until you truly feel that this person is REALLY my friend. I have belonged to so many groups-but one in particular that I have been with the longest is "Angels In Disguise" A couple of dozen women who had a chat room in common and true friendships have come out of. I have been with this group for over 5 years maybe a bit more. We share everything. There is no "leader" per se. No Rules to be involved. Just wonderful woman (and a couple of men) that have met and have become "FRIENDS". WE tell each other good news, bad news, confusing news, we are each other's shoulder to lean on, we have watched each other's children (and grandchildren) grow and go through changes. We have been there through marriages, divorces, disasters, just you name it we have been through it as a group. It is constant and comfortable. A true family online. Well we have had one member that has shown us true bravery and strength and courage through her life. Her name is Lynda. Lynda has been battling cancer for quite some time, not months, years. Her positive attitude and fighting determination has TRULY been an inspiration to us all. I for one was always totally amazed how this remarkable woman would start another bout of chemo then jump right back to work without a second thought. She refused to let the enemy win. Well today with GREAT sadness her husband wrote to the group and informed us that Lynda lost the battle today at 4:30pm California time. My eyes could not focus on anything but what his words said. I am left with such an empty feeling because that pillar of strength is gone. The picture above I have found to be appropriate in honor of Lynda- for she is now a TRUE ANGEL watching over the rest of us. PEACE LYNDA!!!!