Monday, December 19, 2005

Thursday, November 24, 2005








I am thankful for all of you that I truly can call my friends...You have each touched my life and for that I will always be grateful.

Thanks for sharing in my life and making it more complete!!!


Thursday, November 10, 2005


Have I ever mentioned in any of my entries that I just cannot stand going to the doctor....I think I have...I think you all are stick of hearing it....but it made me a total wreck just thinking that I had to leave the comfort zone of my house to go to the psychiatrist. First I really thought we would hit subjects more like how I should be dealing with my facing death and dying as a result of my debilitating disease. But even after these past 4 years of seeing him...he is more concerned with keep my meds going then anything else. I just about dropped my mouth when I left and read the prescriptions where he increased my sleeping pill....yes I have to take those on a regular basis so that my body gets the proper serotonin it needs to make correct decisions and keeps your mind sharp...I sleep enough as it is...I am missing out on life....yet he increases it.

The last time I went to him...he said that I could start going every other month...trying to bring my anxiety level down about going....he said think about it and let him know at my next appointment...well I told him...yes I want to see you every other month....and then he I think in your case I need to have you keep coming every month...GEEZ--someone make up his mind. now next month I have another appointment with him and then the following week after him I see the lunp that will be interesting....that doctor has cut down his hours incredibly...I think he is fixing to retire soon...then workman's comp gets to play with what doctor they will send me to ===to be tortured some more....UGH!!!

Okay...I am trying to hold it together...I need to go lay down now because I took one of those new sleeping pills and it is working really quick....I will bounce back later.

BTW....THANKS to all of you that left such precious messages for me.........You really made me feel so loved!!!!

Be Good to Yourselves,,,,,PEACE!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 8, 2005


Yes it is me....remember me? Yes I did disappear....trying to keep things together at home...and with my health. I just seem to get in these ruts where I have to stop and step back and just walk away from things because I just do not feel right about it. I know that does not make sense but it does to me.

Life is okay....yes the Hurricane Wilman did make a pass by here...lots of wind and way tooooo much rain...streets flooded, ditches overflowed....and you could have used a canoe for your yard...but we are okay...we now have a leak in our garage roof and it is causing the ceiling to collapse...also our well has gone out....when it rains it pours I am trying to make due with what we have.

My puter got sick for a my access so was limited until we could come up with the money to get it fixed...the mother board and power box both was during one of the brown outs that this area goes through before during and after storms...yes my puter is hooked up to one of those power surge does not work in storms in this state...I found that out.

So now I am back online and slowly getting things loaded back into my puter and so on.

The kids are doing GREAT. My son who lives in Tennessee is enlisting in the army at the end of this month...the son that moved down south is living up the street from us with a friend of his...working around the corner from us...and racing cars is so good to have him around again...makes me laugh every day.

The daughter is loving high school....she is taking alot of creative classes and doing so very well in them...she is even doing some designing for teachers and such...I am very proud of all of them...

My hunnie is still working at the prison....he has 4.5 years left to full retirement...then we will probably look to having a place in north florida so that my health can improve.

I am booked with doctors for the rest of the month.. justnot adjusting to anything as well as I had hoped for...but things are ok. I have some good days but the bad seem to overwhelm me.

Other then that...I think I have caught you up on general news...I hope to get on more often...I just cannot sit for long periods of time...sitting restricts my lungs from expanding fully and it becomes painful to sit for a spell...but I am trying to keep positive which is something else I am working on within myself.

I hope all of you are doing grand....I hope to go around and say my hellos....please do not give up on me...I am hanging in there and have missed you all.


Thursday, September 8, 2005


Yes it has been awhile....but I keep popping up....Once school started down here, life has become a bit hectic with schedules and projects and homework. I am sure you all get the idea. Well Ophelia is east of me....interesting....hurricane season is getting worse and worse every year. I thought I had it bad last year until I saw the devastation that Katrina has caused those beautiful states. I CANNOT even watch the news anymore because it actually hurts my heart to watch the insanity there.....we donated...and prayers are constantly being said....yet that helplessness feeling remains. Now they are talking about who to blame....... I think there will be PLENTY of time in the future for that kind of politics to jump in...... right now I just wish all governments were doing more....this is just beyond words. Here are a couple of links in case you all feel like donating....


I also lost a friend a couple of weeks ago to cancer....never knew she had it...she was quite brave in handling it....she touched my life with such kindness and I will forever remember her...broke my heart!!!! But she is enjoying the peace and beauty of Heaven!!!

  Okay enough of the sad news....I really need to get my mind on positive things such as: crafts. I have jumped in with both feet into a craft realm called Artist Trading Cards...better known as ATC. This is a type of collage art form of anything you want to use that is made the size of 2.5 x 3.5, the skyis the limit and the possibilities are endless. So I have been trying to keep my head busy with crafts like that ....I guess I am trying to avoid reality but right now I am not able to handle much at all. If any of you are interested in collages and just going crazy with it....let me know and I can direct you to two awesome groups that swap cards and really have alot of fun. There is some GREAT news and that is my puter finally after how many months is fixed....I saved what I could and the puter techs gave me recovery disks to reformat my puter and all is well now. So I have been slowly but surely installing programs and collecting graphics and such like I had before. I am thrilled to be back at my desktop and not on the laptop....Do Not Get Me Wrong...I love my laptop but it is just not the same. Well I have caught you all up on news now....and of course I am off and running to find more digital graphics to use for ATC'S.... You all take care and remember to HUG someone you LOVE



Thursday, August 4, 2005







WOW....the weeks are just flying by...the summer vacation for my daughter is just about over. They go back to school on monday. I just do not know where the days and weeks have gone.

Today I am finding it a bit difficult to even get an entry in....I cancelled my psych doctor appointment for tomorrow...I am just not feeling up to dealing with much or anyone. Sounds harsh but the anxiety alone is enough to deal with.
Lately again I have been sleeping about 18 hours a day. I am sure someone is saying wow that lady is lazy...but I just cannot stop it. It seems I just cannot relax my mind enough to fully get a nice night's mind races a hundred miles a minute from one thing to another.

OKAY...enough of my psychotic self...I can feel that this is boring you hunnie did surprise me yesterday and went to Best Buys and asked about the usb cable that I need to upload my pics from my digital camera. Well The guy just happen to find something that sounded like my description to my the guy told him merry early christmas and I hope it works for nice is that.
So he brought it home and sure enough it was the perfect cable..and I finally uploaded my pics of my parents last day at their home and so on...when I upload them to aol I will definitely share with all of you. Now I just have to keep the cable away from puppy mouths.

Well like I said no news just stuff and sleep...I hope you all are having a grand week...I am slowly making it around to everyone's journal so if I have not hit yours yet I is a goal I set for myself this week.

Until Next time.....Remember to HUG someone you LOVE.



Saturday, July 30, 2005





Today I wanted to wish my parents a very very HAPPY 56TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. I am amazed that anyone has been together for 56 years but obviously they have so it can be done. Here they are the lil cuties:

of course their granddaughter is in the middle... I heard from them again last night...again I could only cry afterwards..this is the first time my parents have ever been away from my daughter...they have been with her since the day she was born and put in the neonatal icu dad was the first to hold her before me. They have been involved in her life always and I think that they are feeling very empty and lonely without her. During the summers she usually spends weekends with them so that she could go swimming and they get to spoil her. But now that they moved...she is no longer just 25 minutes away.

It does upset me to hear the loneliness in their voices...they are trying to keep busy but now that the moving chaos and everyone helping them settle in is over...they are starting to feel the loneliness...I miss them a great deal and I will always miss my mom's great dinners.
I realize we could visit them but it is not that easy since Allen works at a prison. There everything has to be planned 6 months in advance and still that does not guarentee you the time off.

All my life I have been the one who has stuck by my parents and have helped them and kept them company and just been there for them. Now I am no longer just a short drive away and it bothers me as much as it bothers them.
I realize this sounds like a self pity party and I am is just the mood I am in and how I feel at the moment.

Remember to HUG someone you LOVE.

Thursday, July 28, 2005








I just want to take this opportunity to wish my best friend, my knight in white armor, my soul mate...the LOVE of my life...a VERY VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I hope your day is filled with many wonderful surprises and much joy...and that all your wishes come true.
You have made each day that we have been together a dream come true...Your LOVE to me and how you make me feel is beyond mere words. I look so forward to growing old together and living our dreams.


With all the LOVE in my heart-


                  I do hope you all are having a grand week...and staying cool. The weather guys here say that the temps are around 98 but with the heat index has been reading between 103-108. I think that is hot enough. In that kind of heat I just do not know how people can breathe outside. I heard from my parents....they are still trying to get settled in. My sister has been helping them set up their new place ( she is an interior decorator) and my brother has been by fixing whatever they need. They also have been invited to dinner by my sister for a few nights so I think that is grand. I was doing fine with dealing with them moving until my dad got sentimental and then of course I cried for quite some time. Anyway...I think finally my hunnie is going to take my desktop computer finally to the tech guys to get it fixed...I told them just wiped out the hard drive and I will start new again. I saved what I could so I am ok with it. Hopefully it will not cost alot to get it fixed. I love my laptop but to be honest I miss my was just much more comfortable and I miss my printer and such. Well this week has been tax free week. I do not know if they have this where you all are but for a week to 10 days the state does not charge taxes for clothing under 50 dollars or school supplies under 50 help families get their kids ready for school...everyone benefits from the tax free time...of course the stores are jammed packed but it does save some money. That is what matters. Every year they have this....I never heard of such a thing until I moved down to florida. Well I think I will go watch the news and see what is going on in the world around me...Until Next Time--- Remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!!



Friday, July 22, 2005


                  It's finally over....yesterday my hunnie and a friend of his packed up  my parents house and moved them south. I wish it was that simple but it was not. We have been going there at least twice a week to get things packed and whatever my parents came across that they did not want they would give us. Well that would be fine and well but apparently they never packed their closets or dresser draws and such (which we did not go into because that is their privacy) so it took quite a while to pack up that stuff...altogether with some chaos thrown in the middle of it took them 7 hours to pack up the house into a u-haul truck. After all was in there was not even enough room to put a shoebox inside of the truck.. So as a result of so much parents had us take all the extra stuffies for ourselves because they did not want to leave anything for the new owners. The day before the move we were at my parents house doing the usual packing and my dad got a phone call from the real estate agent that the closing has been delayed until 3 the next afternoon. Apparently this is the 4th time that the closing has changed. It was suppose to be at 10 in the morning. But now this new time is causing a problem because the u-haul is rented based on time and both allen and his friend have to work on friday. Also the rent a car waiting for them down south when they turn in the truck is on a time schedule. So now my dad is fuming...he really went nuts on the agent .... I felt bad for the agent but money talks and it is not fair my dad has to spend more because the buyers cannot get it together by 10. Well ... all things not being even... what should have been a planned out move (which it was) turned out to be an overnight stay downsouth of which allen, his friend and the truck did not arrived until 3 in the morning. But as of right now they should be on their way home....They all sound like they are in good spirits so that is a good sign...and believe it or sister was there at the apartment first thing this morning to feed the hungry men and my brother showed up to help unpack the truck and my sister and her daughter are spending the whole afternoon there to unpack everything and get the place set up and cleaned up so it looks like home. Of course I miss my parents already but there was nothing I could do to prevent them from leaving and maybe the change of place will help them both. DID I MENTION....that the night before they moved, while we were still there....we sat down to eat some sandwiches and when my dad went to sit down he fell. He really did a nice job banging up his arm and side....he just his balance and footing...made me so nervous...and Allen jumped up to get him off the floor... he was shaking beyond belief (my dad) heart went out to him. WELL - I think that pretty much describes some up to date news on my end... I did take pics but I still have to upload them. I would have had them uploaded already but the puppies chewed my camera usb cable...gotta love the lil ones... Until Next time---remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!!  




Wednesday, July 13, 2005


        AH....long time no hear from....but I am still around and kicking. Life has gotten the better of me since the last time I was able to journal. My mind has really been scattered with my parents moving...which is in one week. I am still devastated but I cannot blame them getting a duplex rent free. I would too if I had the opportunity. I just worry because I know my brother and sister will not keep tabs on my be honest I do not think they will even visit them that often and my parents will only be about 15 minutes from each of them. My mom has already told me that she feels lonely because there is nothing down there for people their age...which is is a town of young couples raising their children...not retired peeps. My heart really goes out to my mom. All my dad talks about is having an extra bedroom for my daughter to visit them on long weekends and summers. My daughter loves her grandparents but she does not feel comfortable with most in my family...she finds them very uppity and not her style. We have been to my parents house back and forth for the packing and getting rid of stuff and my parents giving us alot of stuff. I do appreciate it but I would rather have my parents stay here. (sigh) Also at the same time we are still painting and such around our own has been slow but so far we are happy with what is done...we are moving my puter room...I have a dinning room that we do not use as a dinning room...I am just not a dinning room we are going to make that our puter room and craft should be really nice when we get done...of course I will take pictures to share. My daughter's bathroom is coming is cute...still have some stenciling left to do...when it is done again I will take some pics to share. Unfortunately in between all of that...I came down with a sinus infection and my daughter had some sort of stomach we had to stop production for a while. Now of course I am sure you all have heard of the hurricanes that are affecting the west side of far (thank God) nothing has hit us directly...but we have had SO MUCH RAIN...we need a canoe at this point to get around our yard and sometimes down the road. When I first moved to florida- I never really heard of hurricanes hitting this state...then all of a sudden I am constantly face to face with it. The only good thing this year is we are prepared with a at least we can stay at our house without having to depend on anyone. Well I have gone to the psychiatrist again...once a month as usual and he has decided that now is the time for therapy..go I start seeing a therapist next month...this should be interesting. Well I think that about does it for the hot topics going on around here...I do hope you all are doing well...I have been around to all my regular journals but just have not had the time to leave comments or anything...but I will....promise. You all take care and remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!! PEACE!!!  

Tuesday, June 21, 2005




Now you all must be saying to yourselves...who the heck is this chic Ellie and why is she writing. Well I have no idea but here I am again.
I still do not have my puter...and I have been fighting a sinus infection for three weeks now...the headaches are just about knocking me out.
I am so sure you all did not want to know that so moving catch up on parents are doing grand....they must both have alzheimers because the incident between them never happen...they cannot recall...I think between the illnesses they are both fighting and all the meds they are on....every day is a fresh start because they have no memory of yesterday...scary but I think good in their case.
We have been helping my parents pack up their house. They really do not want to take alot....just the bare minimum and some antiques that they have. They have given me ALOT of things...I am really overwhelmed. First Here is a pic of the front of their house:

Now I realize that their house does not look big but looks are very deceiving...they have a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house..with living room, dinning room and a large kitchen. They also have a screened in florida room that is the entire length of the back of the house, a large kidney shaped built in swimming pool and a vegie garden, flower garden and a two car garage. They definitely made money off of selling their house. The closing is July 21st. I think we are moving them down south on the 13th and they will drive up here just for the signing. When I first mentioned in my last entry that they sold the house...that one deal fell through but then they found new buyers about 10 days later. Their house went quick.
Here are a few more pics I thought I would share:

Of course here is my kid...she begged my mom for this painting...believe it or not it is me. It is my high school graduation brother took my lil pic and made it into a painting..this was his gift to me... It really amazed me...I did not want it actually...but my daughter was dying for my mom gave it to her...You can tell by the look in her face she is a bit tired...this pic was taken during a break ...we had already been packing and shifting stuff around for 4 hours previous to this. Here is a pic of my parents:

I think at this point everyone needed a break. This wednesday we go and pick up the living room set and the dinning room table that sits 12. I have no idea where we will fit the table and all but of course I cannot turn down a gift. So far we have received a queen size bed set and a full size bed set. The full size is my daughter's when she would stay with my folks. so of course for her room that she is redoing she just had to have the set. Actually I am glad she got it because the bed she had was pretty beat up from the boys.

Now like I said she is redoing her she is painting it the new color...geez...:

Ahhhhh purple...the color of teenagers...but she loves it and personally I love purple in general. I will be taking more pics as improvements are made.

That is pretty much the highlight things progress I am sure I will be letting you all know how things are going.
Just as a side note...the weather here in florida is already unbelieveable...always in the 90's where we are at...and of course the first storm of the season already made an appearance...geez...I do not know many people who are recovered from last hurricane season...but ready or not - here we go again!

Well I think I have caught you all up fairly well so I will end this entry here...
remember to HUG someone you LOVE today!!!


Wednesday, May 25, 2005










First I want to THANK each and everyone of you that sent comments and emails full of support. Thanks so much for your prayers...I am a firm believer in the power of prayer....You have no idea how much your support, prayers, and positive energy have meant to me....You all have truly touched deep within my heart... you have no idea.

Now..last friday Allen took my mother to the state attorney's office. Now that was a strange trip for mother refused to go at first....she said the police being there earlier was all that she had to do. Well Allen appeased her on the phone and still continued to show up at their house and took her to the court house. There is not alot that sets Allen off because he has to have a pretty even temperament for his job...but there are a few things that he will speak his mind and do something about. Well the assistant state attorney tried to twist my mother's words around and use them against my mom. It really was so strange according to Allen...and when my mother tried to correct this person... the asst state attorney said each and every time "Do you know how many women have sat in that same chair and try to BS me with excuses" .
To make a long story short...when things were done... Allen walked my mom out to the waiting room and went back into the lady's office and proceeded to set her straight....he did explained their health histories...and already my mother does not recall alot and my dad is back to his drugged up state to stay out of pain. The lady told allen that at the most my dad might get one day of counseling in anger management. The lady could not believe their ages and the years of marriage...As Allen and I suspected and as many of you wrote to me...and now the attorney also feels that their health issues and the stress of selling their house and moving away from all that they have known all added to this particular incident.
Well once they left the office my mom decided that they were both hungry and wanted to go out to lunch...they had a nice time and allen talked to her alot and kept things always on the positive side.

***Now*** as of parents actually sold their house...this took maybe less then 2 fast. This friday Allen, Crystalyn, my son who lives down south (to help us) and myself will be going to my parent's house and take whatever furniture they will not be needing. My parents are already giving me their living room set and they are giving my daughter a full bedroom set that she uses when she stays over their house. I already told my mom that I would like her hummels and these exquiste paintings from famous artists in south america... they are gorgeous...I will have to take pics of them and show you all. They want us to take as much as possible so that they have less to move. It kind of makes me so sad to see them leave and leave the place I have known as home for the last 20 years...but I think moving someplace that they do not have to worry about bills in their late years is a good thing for them.

***Now***they have decided that they are both moving to Naples in the apartment that my brother has. They are really driving me crazy with changing their plans but I know that the prayers were answered and God has healed their hearts and brought peace to their souls...I really believe that.

I am doing better then I was a few days ago...but now I have become very jumpy which I am hoping will go away.
Continue your wonderful prayers and again THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart.

Remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!

Friday, May 20, 2005






I have thought many times to just stop journalling because it seems I cannot keep up with it, or nothing happens that is worth mentioning, or my life seems to overwhelm me and it takes me forever to get myself together again. I know it must so over dramatic...but emotionally I really do not think that I can take much more.

Besides Allen being tested for Lung Cancer and that giving me a scare of a lifetime...I got a phone call from the police from my parents lil town (about 25 minutes away) that there was an incident of domestic violence. read that right....after 55 years of marriage and at the old ripe age of 83 my dad hit my mom...I have no idea what is really behine the circumstances...all I know is that the police said I HAD to go get my mother and take her with me. I got there and my mom was hysterical, crying, confused and she only could speak spanish. She told me her side all in spanish (thank God that was my first language) and all I could say to her is don't cry it will be alright. It took me 9 hours to reach my siblings down south...they were NO HELP AT ALL!!! Though I will say that for the first time in my life, my brother sounded really upset with my dad which is unheard of.

My mom did not want to leave her mom is extremely particular...very attached to home...scared of everything else. My mom is a VERY old fashioned puerto rican woman who is a devout roman catholic and very set in her ways....
the problem is that my dad is dying of Lupus and a heart condition... my mom has alzheimers (almost midstream of it) so I think it all finally got to both of them. Allen and I stayed at my parents' house for about 8 hours making sure all was calm and we were sure that it was all over. When we got there....there were 3 policemen..they did not want to take my dad to jail at his age and he has never even gotten a traffic ticket in his life.
So they left me RESPONSIBLE... all I could do when we got back to our house is CRY.

So this week has been EXTREMELY stressful... when my parents came back from my sister's 40th anniversary party...they decided they were going to sell the house and move down south with my brother in a duplex he owns rent free. The only thing they would have to worry about is electric. Well when I went there because of this incident, the house was already on the market and there were people walking in and out of the house. I could not believe it. My mom is leaving me as much as she can... she only wants her bed and personal belongings.

My mother will still be moving down south to my brothers and my dad is staying up here...he has decided to get himself a mobile home in the same area and just relax and live out his days.

I am still devastated and even as I am typing this I am crying. Today Allen has to take my mom to the state attorney's office as part of the we will see what happens after her appointment. I feel like I have been living a night mare and I cannot wake up.

That is pretty much all I can write for now...I ask that if you BELIEVE in prayer please please say some for my parents...that their hearts become healed and peace reigns in their souls.

Thanks for listening...HUG someone you LOVE!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2005


                This is my third attempt to put in an entry...for some reason my entries keep getting deleted or before I am done writing...the page just disappears and up pops the main page with no new entry found. I have no idea what is going on...but it is getting very fustrating. Now...I hope that all you moms out there had a wonderful Mother's Day. Mine was very peaceful...just the way I like it. My sons called me to wish me a Happy was wonderful to hear from them. My daughter sent me 10 email cards and dedicated an entry in her journal about me...I just was all wonderful. NOW for the handling news...last thursday my hunnie Allen went to the doctor for a follow up regarding headaches that he has been getting. He does get migraines but they are trying to figure out what medications will work for him without knocking him out. When he was seen he told the doctor about his sinuses bothering him and the doctor also listened to his chest. Well next thing my hunnie realize is that they made an appointment for him first thing the next morning for a CT scan of his look for Lung Cancer. Well my hunnie called me when he left the office and  told me how scared he was... all I could do was cry...When he got home..he tried to play it off like it is fine. Neither of us slept that night. Of course we had to wait all weekend to get the results...and come to find out we also had to wait until tuesday. I prayed all weekend...cried at times...and we just talked until we had nothing to say. Tuesday afternoon came around and the results were negative for Lung Cancer (THANK GOD). I have never been that scared. It felt like a huge weight taken off our shoulders. He has ALOT of congestion in his chest and he was prescribed a very intense antibiotic to kill theinfection. The doc also found that Allen has high cholesterol. So my daughter and I have been on his case ever since then watching what he is eating and so on. That was the longest 4 days of my life waiting on the results...I also think of Allen has being the strong one who can take anything...but after hearing that he was being tested for cancer...I saw for the first time fear in his eyes...and that just broke my heart. Okay parents went down south to help celebrate my sister's 40th wedding anniversary. BELIEVE IT OR NOT I actually received an invitation to go to it also. BUT...this was the first time that they actually thought of sending me my own invitation instead of delivery a message through someone else. I just do not bother going. Well of course with my anxiety attacks and all that lovely stuff I did not go. NOW the bigger surprise in this that my dad said if I did not get invited he was not going to go. He was sick and tired of their rudeness that way. That is the first time my dad ever took sides in such a way...especially when it concerns my sister vs me. He has a HUGE soft spot for my when he said that it really shocked me...and even made me cry..( I tend to cry alot I think)..I think last time he went down there that he must have said something to them because I actually got an invitation. My dad's biggest beef is that family comes first and you do not treat family like they are less then you. Well I guess they got the shocked me. I actually put the invitation in my scrapbook because it is such a rare occasion. My parents had a grand time down there so that is nice...that is all that counts for me. Well I am finally getting tired so I am going to end my news here. I hope you all have a MARVELOUS thursday and friday...and remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!



Sunday, May 8, 2005









AWWWW...My mom and my daughter...the cutest grandmother and granddaughter combination if I say so myself. Well I have already shown you all my most fav pic of my daughter and I and here is my fav of my mom and the kid.

I LOVE my mother's smile...her smile speaks volumes of LOVE,MEMORIES,FAITH,HARD WORK,DEDICATION,COMMITTMENT.
My mom had me late in life...she was around 40 or so when she had our views of the world were two lifetimes apart...but I learned so much from mom has been in the U.S. since her late teens...she is now 83 years old and she still has a very heavy spanish accent...I love her means home to me. I am and will always be amazed at my mother's dedication to her family, and her faith...those are the two most important elements in her life...everything else is secondary. She can cook, keep house, raise kids, run a household, put up with my dad, volunteer for everything at school and the church, be apart of a bowling team and make it all look so very easy...

I so admire her strength...and her old fashioned way of thinking...she made life so simple and peaceful. She is definitely a hugger and kisser (which is part of her charm) and her sense of humor is so funny because it does tend to get lost in the translation that you just gotta laugh. She spoiled me rotten while I was growing up and I knew that. Her dream was always to have a lil girl and here I am. Then when I became pregnant with twins...she was praying beyond belief for a lil girl and sure enough along came my daughter. So my daughter is definitely so spoiled by her...nothing is good enough for her granddaughter. I am thrilled that my daughter has spent all these years living near her grandparents and travelling with them and spending weekends with them and so on....because I know that my parents (especially my mom) have given my daughter that special kind of LOVE and SECURITY that only a grandparent can give. My mom would do anything for her kids and her grandkids..we all know that.

For me ... my mom would always be "MOM OF THE YEAR"...I know that God placed her here on earth as a living angel to show what peace and love are...

I wish all of you who are mothers or daughters or grandmothers...have a wonderful MOTHER'S DAY...and LOVE those that surround you!!!!

Just as a P.S.
my daughter has a journal in which she wrote an entry about me that had me crying for an hour...if you would like to check it out....feel is the link 

Friday, May 6, 2005








ASSIGNMENT:Take a pic of your mom, your kid, your kid's mom, your mom's kids: any combo of mother and child.

Once in a blue moon I check out what the weekend assignment is from "dear John" so I liked this one and I thought I would join in...The above pic was taken about 8 years ago ...just me and my baby Crystalyn.

This is my ALL time favorite photo...I have it sitting on top of my monitor in my puter room...when I was working, I had it on my desk. I just think it is so us...
so I wanted to share it this Mother's Day weekend with all of you...Later on I will be having an entry of my mom...come back to check it out!!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2005










Like the old saying goes...if I did not have bad luck I would have no luck at all. Hope you are sitting for my could only happen to puter crashed..big time!!! I am totally devastated..what makes things even worse is that we do not have the finances right now to get it for about a week I was using my hunnie's puter HOWEVER...his is filled with a ton of firewalls and blockers and such would allow me to write an entry but it would not let me upload it. I tried several times and finally gave up.
I have a laptop that I have not used in a long of our liters of puppies ate the battery pack wires...but my hunnie went out and got me another one...even better then the one I I am on my laptop..however I have nothing loaded on this one. No graphics no nothing. It also took me almost a full two days to delete all the games and garbage that my kids had loaded into it before the battery wires were now I should be good to go for a bit.

Just to make life a bit more interesting...our well (where we get our water)  has sprung a leak....major leak...and of course we tried everything to fix it but it turns out,according to the pros, that we have to have another well drilled...well that price tag is over $2,000.00. Of course that is not attainable right now so I have no idea what we are going to do.

Like I said...bad luck--no luck.

My son Eric came up and helped out his dad with trying to fix it...and also cutting the grass and such...he stayed for about 4 was a nice surprise...I am glad the two of them got to spend some time together.

Sothat is where we are at right now...just as a side note, I am fighting a sinus infection so that has just made life a bit more miserable. But at least I can still laugh so that is a good thing.

Just thought I would let you all know what I have been up to..I promise to get around to read my usual stops.... I miss everyone. If you visit here please leave your journal link if I do not have it...I love visiting others. You all have a GREAT week.

Remember to HUG someone you LOVE...

Sunday, April 10, 2005





I am here again.......LOL. First I wanted to thank you all for the great notes of kindness and support...I so appreciate it. Also someone was kind enough to let me know that Terri's family did care for her for awhile and decided to put her in a nursing home...I did not know this...if anyone knows of where I can read about that I would really appreciate it.

Okay....I finally uploaded a picture of my son who came to visit a weekend or two ago...of course he also wanted to show off his is cute...and of course he is loving it:

Either I am shrinking or he is getting taller....he towers over me...but his bear hugs are GREAT!!! Of course his father and him had to fiddle around with the truck and tune things up. They even went to some sort of junk yard that you pay $40.00 and you can have all you want as long as you can carry it out. So they spent a couple of hours there getting this and that sort of things. They had a blast getting dirty and oily together. LOL.

Today I spent the day helping my daughter with a school project she has on LSD. I am advising her on colors to use on her poster board and captions for her pictures...she is gathering the info and writing it all up. She says that I have a better eye for the creativity that way...maybe that is her way of kissing up to me...but it I helped. So for us the day flew by. My hunnie did have to take her up to wally world (walmart) to get a few supplies...of course she suckered him into letting her get a duckie garbage can for her is too cute...and a couple of other things. They had way too much fun in the store...they love to embarass each other. Maybe that is why I stay home...(just kidding).

Here is a side note about my small zoo of animals...we have way too many dogs now, that we have to feed them in 4 different rooms because some will not share with others. This is picky...and now the puppies of course have their own food area because they have different food then the others...but they are piglets...Feeding time at the zoo is an adventure.LOL

Well I am sure that is enough hum drum news to read so I will leave it at that....I hope you all have a GRAND monday filled with surprises. HUG someone you LOVE.....PEACE!!!


Saturday, April 9, 2005









Well I bet you all thought I dropped off the face of the earth. Well at this point that sounds like fun. I am surprised you all have not given up on me...I pretty much have.

I have had no motivation for life itself much less keeping up with my journal. I miss my journal a great deal....I get to say what I want and when I want and sometimes just putting things down on paper or puter helps sort things out. But I do not have the energy for even that. But enough of me for a bit.

So much has gone on in the world around me that I am still amazed at what has happened...first:
It breaks my heart that Pope John Paul II has passed away. He is pretty much the only Pope I have known...I really loved hearing about his trips and his messages of hope and his reaching out to young people...that all will be sadly missed

I am sad that he is gone...but Happy at the beautiful life he led and what he meant to so many people....he is the true meaning behind living life to its' fullest.

Now the next story just blew me away....that is about Terri...

of course it would figure that florida had to be the state that all this controversy took place....My personal feeling on all this is that the whole issue should have stayed within the families....not for the politicians...I am a firm believer that I do not want the government in my personal business. I think the will to live or personal. The only thing that confuses me is why didn't the husband just let the parents care for her.....if they wanted to take that on...I do not understand that. Then again I do not think that the public really knows everything....they has got to be some pieces is so sad that she is gone...but I do pray that all those involved will find some sort of peace with it all.

Okay....believe it or not I finally left the house for an actual appointment with my doctor....he was shocked to see me because I just keep cancelling out of my appointments. The thought of going out anywhere has only gotten worse.
Well I think the doc finally figured out that I am afraid to go out and the anxiety I go through is he prescribed me another medication which is a straight tranquilizer that I am suppose to take 20 minutes before leaving the house and see if it helps.God I hope so.

Again I missed another outing to my parents house. I just could not go....but hopefully now things with me will calm down....I take so much GARBAGE in medications to calm me down and prevent my lungs from working over time that I feel like a walking zombie. Again my hunnie has been a dream come true and is sooooooo patient and understanding...I know I would not have made it this far if it was not for him...he really gives me strength and support beyond my comprehension.

MORE boys celebrated their birthday on the 26th of march.....they turned 20. I cannot believe how old that makes me feel......but they were happy campers. My son who lives south of us even came up for a visit...I have some pics of him that I will share next time...I was just glad to see that he was good and doing well.
EVEN MORE CRAZY NEWS...remember my sister in law that used to live with us...well she left around when the hurricanes hit...thinking life was better someplace she actually came to get her personal belongings. She just assumed we were going to store her things forever....BUT she called one day when she did not think my hunnie was home and he answered the phone...and he gave her one week to come get her things or he was going to burn them...well that chic made it here in 5 days and it took her about 4 hours to load her junk...BUT I am thrilled to finally have her stuff out of here. She is a real piece of life. That stress is finally does my heart good.

I cannot believe that the month of April is actually here...time is moving way too fast for me...I seem to be missing alot out of life. It is starting to get to me.
Well I think that is enough news to catch everyone up on what is going on with me....I hope you will hang in there with me...if not--I understand. hug someone you LOVE....PEACE!!!!

Friday, March 25, 2005











WOWOWOW...this week has flown by....I can't believe it is already easter ....and the end of my daughter's spring break. We really had a nice time doing crafts and staying up late eating popcorn and watching some weird movies and so on. It was really nice and relaxing.

My hunnie also took off for a few days this past week so we all just hung out and did whatever...we became total couch potatoes and it felt great.

I thought I would share with all of you a beautiful sunset that we just happen to catch two nights ago. It almost looks like the sky is on fire but what a beautiful florida sky.
As the old sailor's quote goes: "Red sky at night, sailor's sky at morning, sailor take warning."
Sure enough the next day was rain no storms... anyway---here is the pic:

okay...I am sure you know by now but if not....I retired from working at a prison...and everyone who worked there had this lil comparison hanging up, just to help us figure out why we were it:


Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

IN PRISON ........... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK ............ youspend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

INPRISON.......... you get three meals a day
AT WORK ............ you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON........... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK ........... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON.......... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK........... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON ......... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK ........... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON.......... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK ........... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON........... they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............ you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON.......... all expenses are paid by the taxpayer with no work required.
AT WORK........... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON.......... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ........... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON .......... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK............ they are called managers.

So ...... someone please remind me why we work?

 I hope that you all have a GREAT weekend and a terrific EASTER...Enjoy the time with your families and friends and remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!


Monday, March 21, 2005


The spring break insanity has started here in the sunshine state. Spring Breakers from all over the country have invaded the beaches, nightclubs and bars...along with certain streets in certain towns and they have officially taken over for the next two weeks. I am so glad I have the safety of my home to retreat to...because it is crazy out there. Also all the schools in our fair state are on spring for some insane reason the stores are all jam packed and the traffic is unreal. The bright spot in all of this is my daughter has been home since last thursday (when her break began) and she is home until the 28th. I love it when she is home because we do so much together.
Which brings me to my next point:
my hunnie and I had been talking about making our own patchwork blankets and pillows because we really liked the one his sister made for us...and we would like to make a bigger one to cover our bed and do one for our daughter. Well as a major surprise to me...hunnie showed up with a BRAND new sewing machine for me. I always wanted one because I wanted to teach myself how to use them and maybe sew a few projects. I know nothing about sewing. That is a tidbit I just never was never interested in. My mom sews big sister is an interior decorator and sews alot of her projects just to eliminate the middle man and her stuff has been in magazines....but of course it leave to me to not have an interest in it.

Well now the sewing bug has hit me and my hunnie showed up at home with the following:

I know it may not be really special or fancy but it is the best sewing machine I have ever seen. It shocks me to no end that my hunnie actually waded through Walmart and took time to look at the machines and picked out this one. All together it does 25 different stitches...I have tried them all practicing and seeing what they look like and they are awesome!!! I love it!!!
Of course my hunnie has to buy accessories because I am so homebound that he knows that it is just best that I have everything I need around me so that I can start and finish something. Well he and my daughter bought tons of material and threads etc...and my daughter and I have done one project already...I think sheis just as excited as I am. Please do not laugh at our little project but I am very proud of it considering I have never sewn before in my life. Here are the pics:

Back of Pillow:

Not anything special but we made it and that is all that counts. It is so fluffy and comfortable I cannot believe it. Well watch out sewing world...I am on the loose. LOL

So this week we are going to be playing around with the new machine and see what we can come up with. Have I mentioned yet that I have also started to crochet. OMG.... I have never done that either....but I looked it up on the internet and have started my own lil project....too cool....I am making a scarf for my hunnie for his job...they can only be either brown or black...and he wanted I am working on it. Boy that really keeps your head busy.. and time flies when you are sitting there just crotching time away.

Also this past weekend I worked on some more scrapbook pages.... I really have to start putting together my albums before I forget what goes where, which would be typical for me...LOL.

Well folks I really hope that your monday is MARVELOUS and remember to HUG someone you LOVE...hug them TWICE...just for good measure!!!