Monday, September 25, 2006


Okay..I can't lie--I am a bit stressed--alright--a lot stressed.
My hunnie searched high and low for the part he needed and no one had it, not even junk yards so he had to order the part...which hopefully will be in this afternoon..but no one knows.
Then it all depends if they can get everything working right for him to come back tonight...or it may be another day or two.
Of course when he is NOT here..things seem to happen.
The first little incident was when my daughter brought the dogs in on Thursday evening...she noticed that one of the fence panels was bent going out...when she went up to it some man approached her to complain that if our dogs got out he would shoot them because he has children to protect. Also if we did not fix the fence and a dog got out he would call the police.
Of course my daughter freaks and I get really ticked because this guy apparently is the "new" boyfriend, we think, of our next door neighbor. The same one we suspect that poisoned our dog. So my daughter went to the neighbors across the street and they helped her nail the fence to temporarily hold it until my hunnie can get home to fix it right.
I called Allen, to tell him what had happened and he became extremely ticked. Allen apparently spoke to the neighbors next door several times to tell them to keep the kids OFF of our fence...they have a habit of climbing our fence to retrieve their ball. You can tell someone pulled on it...and it was bent towards their yard.
Thank God for the neighbors across the street...the lady's son came over and hammered away and was very nice about it all.
So---the next thing is that our electric went out. At about 3 in the morning I was just sitting here playing on the puter and BAM...everything went dark. No storms or anything like that was in the I could not figure out why no power. Well about 90 minutes later I saw the power company's truck drive by my house looking at one of the transformers...but they kept driving. They must have found what happened because 2 hours later the power was back on. Thank God because without the AC the room gets very stuffy. It is still hot and humid it is suppose to go up to 94 there is not even a hint of fall in the weather.
Now---I needed to use my cell phone a couple of times because I have certain numbers stored on it and my cell phone is for long distance calls..(works out cheaper for us)...well it figures that when I need it my daughter discovers on Thursday night that she must have lost it on the bus (she takes it to school - just in case). The only problem with losing it on the bus is that the bus and the driver were subs...the regular driver and her bus were out on a trip..
So after much searching on Friday by her regular driver...the bus and phone were found...we should be getting it back today. It figures tho-with my of the very few times I needed to use it and Allen is not here with phone gets temporarily lost.
I so HOPE that Allen gets the blazer fixed today because I really do not want to deal with much is very difficult as it is to actually deal with answering the dealing with other issues has been a challenge to say the least. I know you all must think I am a wuss...or just plain stupid...but these are the things that bring my anxiety level up.
Of course I have NOT slept well at all...because I stay up all the time to make sure things are ok...and that my daughter gets up for school at 5:30 and so on and so I am running on empty and starting to feel the effects.
When Allen gets home I will probably collapse from exhaustion.
Well...I think I caught you all up on the news silly as it may seem.
I hope that everyone's week has started off GREAT.
I wish you enough....!!!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


Kinda sad right now...the "prodigal" son has left. My hunnie drove him back Wednesday evening down south..he said he needed to get back and get his car back on the road. He has always been one to NEVER sit still for long...he always has to be on the go. I expected my hunnie back last night by dinner time but I had not heard from him. WELL--as our luck would have it his blazer...broke down. Something about gas lines ripped/broken and something else...if it is NOT one thing it is definitely ANOTHER.
So I hoping they get it fixed Friday so my hunnie can come home. I miss is weird because you would think that we are together all the time now but I do miss his jolly self...LOL
Now here is a pic of my son I did in pencil you know what I do in my spare time..playing with images and manipulating them and creating stuff...that is definitely my cup of tea.
If you have not heard yet...the VIVI awards are taking place again in J-land.
You can go to that journal...and leave the url of journals you think would fit into one of the many categories set up. Check it out for yourself...if you have no idea who to can mention my journal...LOL...(shameless plug).
Honestly--no other news going on here..I hope everyone has an AWESOME weekend. I am just waiting for the weather to cool down and I will be happy.
I Wish You All Enough!!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


WOW...the big 17. I am so amazed that 17 years have come by and the beautiful life that I have had the pleasure of Sharing, Knowing, Guiding, LOVING, has grown up.
It truly amazes me how much time flies and so very quickly. More quickly then I am ready to admit.
I remember the day she and her twin was 4:45 am..first fraternal twins born at Arnold Palmer Hospital. She weighed a whole 2 pounds...and was three months early.
I was so scared...motherhood is wonderful however having premmies brings on new challenges and lots of worries.
She has been a fighter since the very beginning. Strong to laugh, and refused to be around children her own age...always preferred hanging out with older children..and was able to keep up.
First day of Pre-K....she started a riot...yes I got a phone call at work from director telling me that Crystalyn did want her and her classmates to play on the baby she led them to the older kids playground...she took charge...the school wanted me to know so that I would understand when Crystalyn explained her story to me. Crystalyn's reasoning was her and her friends were not babies...and that is that.
I never knew so much LOVE & JOY could come from having a child.
Her sense of humor and spunk for life and creative thinking amaze me...and her compassion for others makes her heart bigger then most adults I know.
My pride in her grows daily as does of course my LOVE..if that is at all possible.
She has strong convictions and will fight tooth and nail for her family and friends and those that she cares about.
She has a massive soft spot for animals..and speaks her mind no matter what the circumstances or consequences.
I am very proud to say she is my daughter..and tho she is spreading those beautiful wings of hers and trying to claim that total independence...I would not trade a second of it. I really love the disagreements and conflicts...because I think we both grow from them and they only bring us closer together.
So I wanted to THANK my beautiful baby girl for the most EXCITING and LOVING 17 years a mother could ever ask for.
Now...I wanted to share some interesting pics...I warned my daughter I would do this...she thinks it is here it goes:
This is her first professional picture taken at Walmart when she was 10 months old. She was still on a heart monitor and the photographer did not want to take any pics of her because of all the wires...but her godmother stepped in and had a fit and removed the wires and all and said to take them and we would not hold them responsible for anything going wrong...I remember that big ruckus..but the pics were taken...and that is one of my favorites. is she...looking older then 17, thinking she is 40 something..and full of life and spitfire.
All my dreams fulfilled in one beautiful package.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
I Always Wish You Enough...!!!

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Now this has been a weekend of least for me...I am just a big kids have grown up so fast that I am finding it hard to keep up and relax.
Let me explain.
First my son Eric is here visiting for a bit. At least until Tuesday!!!
Here is the cutie:
First the boy lost about 70 pounds...because he is getting ready to go into the army. For a bit there he was seriously thinking the marines...but he has finally decided on the army. Now he was suppose to go in on September 11th. However one of his medical tests came back with high they had to do a glucose tolerance test (something like that). Diabetes runs on my hunnie's side of the once those tests are back and everything is ok...(I know they will be) he will be receiving his report in date. Now he has decided that he would love to be an MP (military police). More power to him. He is either going to do his basic in South Carolina and then his MOS training in Oklahoma or do it all in Oklahoma..we do not know yet.
It does sadden my heart that he is going in...I guess because the army already has one of my boys...they do not need both..but that is the path they have chosen so I am trying to just relax about it.
So this is his "good bye" visit here. He has been helping his dad fix some motors and cut the grass and stuffies like that...he also wants to stay until Tuesday which is his sister's birthday. Which is the other bit of news. My baby...the only one left at home is turning 17. GEEZ...I feel old.
Here she is:
So now she is of the mind set that she is beyond the parental has been quite interesting but I guess I was no better growing up.
So far this school year has been overwhelming for her...she is trying to find a groove but with all the garbage that goes on she is quickly becoming discouraged with school. Now that worries me..but I am hoping that after the first quarter, things will smooth out.
I can remember her being born three months early with her twin Joshua..and she fit in my so small yet even then she was a fighter and feisty. I knew then that she would be strong willed and very opinionated..boy was I right..LOL.
My other son AJ just moved into his own apartment and sounds so happy. I am glad. He is loving his new found freedom away from relatives and such...but I still hear from him often.
OKAY...I want to THANK YOU ALL for the comments about moving and your suggestions...please continue to leave ideas and suggestions about it...I am still weighing the pros and cons...nothing is written in stone and it will not be anything soon..but I so need to hear what others might think as far as places to check out and such. It really helps me focus.
Well I want to get this uploaded before too much more time goes by...and I forget..
I wish you enough----

Friday, September 15, 2006


I know - do not worry--I am here--I do not know if that is bad or good--but I am still here.
Unfortunately this time around I have been very sick. I am sure no one wants to hear about it but since I am here and it is my journal...I guess I will highlight the fun (NOT).
First - I had the worst time breathing..I am so tired of not breathing like a normal person that I am slowly losing my mind. I know I will never get any better then I am right now...but I really thought that the COPD was under control and all I had to worry about was being maintained. The scary part is that every time I go out and open myself up to lots of other people I am opening myself up to being easily subjected to getting sick. If someone in my house is sick...they know not to come near me and such--but in public you have no idea who is the last person (if they were sick or not) to touch something that you are touching and so on and so forth...well I thought my chest was going to cave again--my steroid medication has been upped and my inhaler has become a constant companion more then it has ever been.
This being sick is now OFFICIALLY OLD!!! Then just when that mess started settling legs decided that they had a mind of their own...they blew up like balloons...I mean HUGE..I wear slippers around the house that are an extra size larger then I need because of such an occasion however, the slippers became too tight to wear. The pain was unbelievable..and no matter what I did the swelling stayed in full force for about a month. I could not sit or get real comfortable laying down. Just plain miserable. Then just as that was slowly going away...I picked up some sort of intestinal virus..OMG...that was just TERRIBLE. My stomach actually swelled so much that it became extremely difficult for me to breathe which in turn made me panic..and that only made things worse. For about a week..Allen or Crystalyn had to be up with me all the time...someone had to be with me because the pain was unbearable and I could not get up or sit down or even walk without assistance. I could not even get my shorts on my was so huge. Finally that went away...but left me with a terrible back ache which is where I am now...sitting comes only in short spurts. I cannot sit for long and it seems that my body just wants to rest/sleep which for now, I am fine with, because perhaps it is trying to heal itself. I have no idea why my body is being riddled with so much pain and ailments. I have come so very close to giving up...a person can only take so much pain and then they have reached their limits. this is leading to my next bit of hunnie, Allen, has decided to retire from the department of corrections here in Florida. Ever since I won my judgment against the state--they have been going after Allen. Write ups, Threatening his retirement, changing his post every time he went get the idea,22 years with the state and it is time for him to part company. He's happy because that pressure is off of him, and he can now be home with me and does not have to depend on anyone else to take care of me. BTW--his headaches have just about disappeared. Hmmmm--I think there might have been a connection between the headaches and his job...(DUH).
So this leads me to my next bit of news... Allen and I are seriously thinking of moving..yes folks I said it...I am actually thinking of leaving the sunshine state for greener pastures..(is that possible?) The main reason for the move is plain and simple: The doctors have all said that if I do not move out of central Florida that my life span will become increasingly shortened. Shorter then it is already there is a sobering thought.
I have always known this,however I had kids in school who have ties now that the boys are out on their own...My daughter is a junior...and if she really does not want to go..she can stay with my parents for her last year of high school. That is totally up to her. My parents would love it and my family down south would spoil her for a year before she leaves for college. I am just not getting any better. Here is the scoop...the air (believe it or not) does not move in central gets polluted air from the east and the west...those pollutants are adding to my deterioration of health. My pulmonologist is the one who has done this research for the state...he is absolutely fascinating to listen to. He also said that Louisiana is not a good place because it is so below water level that mold spores are rampant there. He did not think that Arizona would be good because of the heat we are thinking Tennessee or Arkansas. These are strong possibilities. Now one of my doctors said that ocean air is excellent for breathing however ...ocean property is very expensive and that is like daring a hurricane to come get me...I have enough panic with where I am now and hurricanes. The lung specialist did mention that we may want to move someplace where is gets cold enough for a bit to kill off mold spores...Florida does not get that cold, and if it does--it is not for long enough. By cold he meant...snow or frost on the ground for at least a week...Florida may have frost at night but it never stays beyond 8-10 hours..much less a week.
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions PLEASE feel free to let me know...I am having very ambivalent feelings about moving and such...I guess I am scared of change and moving further away from my family. So much to think about.
Well those are some highlights....I wish you all enough.....

Monday, September 11, 2006


Mere words cannot even begin to express the feeling behind today's date ... Here is a poem that was sent to me that I wanted to share with all of you... May we all take a remember-to pray-to pause-and to think about all those lives who have been affected by such a horror.


  Two thousand one, nine eleven
  Three thousand plus arrive in heaven
  As they pass through the gate,
  Thousands more appear in wait
  A bearded man with stovepipe hat
  Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat"

  They settle down in seats of clouds
  A man named Martin shouts out proud
  "I have a dream!" and once he did
  The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives."

  Groups of soldiers in blue and gray
  Others in khaki, and green then say
  "We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine"
  The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain."

  From a man on sticks one could hear
  "The only thing we have to fear.
  The Newcomer said, "We know the rest,
  Trust us sir, we've passed that test."

  "Courage doesn't hide in caves
  You can't bury freedom, in a grave,"
  The Newcomers had heard this voice before
  A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannisport shores

  A silence fell within the mist
  Somehow the Newcomer knew that this
  Meant time had come for her to say
  What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day

  "Back on Earth, we wrote reports,
  Watched our children play in sports
  Worked our gardens, sang our songs
  Went to church and clipped coupons
  We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought
  Unlike you, great we're not"

  The tall man in the stovepipe hat
  Stood and said, "Don't talk like that!
  Look at your country, look and see
  You died for freedom, just like me"

  Then, before them all appeared a scene
  Of rumbled streets and twisted beams
  Death, destruction, smoke and dust
  And people working just 'cause they must

  Hauling ash, lifting stones,
  Knee deep in hell, but not alone
  "Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman
  Side by side helping their fellow man!"

  So said Martin, as he watched the scene
  "Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."

  Down below three firemen raised
  The colors high into ashen haze
  The soldiers above had seen it before
  On Iwo Jima back in '45

  The man on sticks studied everything closely
  Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly
  "I see pain, I see tears,
  I see sorrow -- but I don't see fear."

  "You left behind husbands and wives
  Daughters and sons and so many lives
  Are suffering now because of this wrong
  But look very closely. You're not really gone.

  All of those people, even those who've never met you
  All of their lives, they'll never forget you
  Don't you see what has happened?
  Don't you see what you've done?
  You've brought them together, together as one.

  With that the man in the stovepipe hat said
  "Take my hand," and from there he led
  Three thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven
  On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven

  Author UNKNOWN

Tuesday, September 5, 2006


-- Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the "Crocodile Hunter," was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.
Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.
"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.
Crew members aboard the boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said.
"The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet," Stainton told reporters in Cairns. "He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs Rule!'"