Wednesday, May 25, 2005










First I want to THANK each and everyone of you that sent comments and emails full of support. Thanks so much for your prayers...I am a firm believer in the power of prayer....You have no idea how much your support, prayers, and positive energy have meant to me....You all have truly touched deep within my heart... you have no idea.

Now..last friday Allen took my mother to the state attorney's office. Now that was a strange trip for mother refused to go at first....she said the police being there earlier was all that she had to do. Well Allen appeased her on the phone and still continued to show up at their house and took her to the court house. There is not alot that sets Allen off because he has to have a pretty even temperament for his job...but there are a few things that he will speak his mind and do something about. Well the assistant state attorney tried to twist my mother's words around and use them against my mom. It really was so strange according to Allen...and when my mother tried to correct this person... the asst state attorney said each and every time "Do you know how many women have sat in that same chair and try to BS me with excuses" .
To make a long story short...when things were done... Allen walked my mom out to the waiting room and went back into the lady's office and proceeded to set her straight....he did explained their health histories...and already my mother does not recall alot and my dad is back to his drugged up state to stay out of pain. The lady told allen that at the most my dad might get one day of counseling in anger management. The lady could not believe their ages and the years of marriage...As Allen and I suspected and as many of you wrote to me...and now the attorney also feels that their health issues and the stress of selling their house and moving away from all that they have known all added to this particular incident.
Well once they left the office my mom decided that they were both hungry and wanted to go out to lunch...they had a nice time and allen talked to her alot and kept things always on the positive side.

***Now*** as of parents actually sold their house...this took maybe less then 2 fast. This friday Allen, Crystalyn, my son who lives down south (to help us) and myself will be going to my parent's house and take whatever furniture they will not be needing. My parents are already giving me their living room set and they are giving my daughter a full bedroom set that she uses when she stays over their house. I already told my mom that I would like her hummels and these exquiste paintings from famous artists in south america... they are gorgeous...I will have to take pics of them and show you all. They want us to take as much as possible so that they have less to move. It kind of makes me so sad to see them leave and leave the place I have known as home for the last 20 years...but I think moving someplace that they do not have to worry about bills in their late years is a good thing for them.

***Now***they have decided that they are both moving to Naples in the apartment that my brother has. They are really driving me crazy with changing their plans but I know that the prayers were answered and God has healed their hearts and brought peace to their souls...I really believe that.

I am doing better then I was a few days ago...but now I have become very jumpy which I am hoping will go away.
Continue your wonderful prayers and again THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart.

Remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!

Friday, May 20, 2005






I have thought many times to just stop journalling because it seems I cannot keep up with it, or nothing happens that is worth mentioning, or my life seems to overwhelm me and it takes me forever to get myself together again. I know it must so over dramatic...but emotionally I really do not think that I can take much more.

Besides Allen being tested for Lung Cancer and that giving me a scare of a lifetime...I got a phone call from the police from my parents lil town (about 25 minutes away) that there was an incident of domestic violence. read that right....after 55 years of marriage and at the old ripe age of 83 my dad hit my mom...I have no idea what is really behine the circumstances...all I know is that the police said I HAD to go get my mother and take her with me. I got there and my mom was hysterical, crying, confused and she only could speak spanish. She told me her side all in spanish (thank God that was my first language) and all I could say to her is don't cry it will be alright. It took me 9 hours to reach my siblings down south...they were NO HELP AT ALL!!! Though I will say that for the first time in my life, my brother sounded really upset with my dad which is unheard of.

My mom did not want to leave her mom is extremely particular...very attached to home...scared of everything else. My mom is a VERY old fashioned puerto rican woman who is a devout roman catholic and very set in her ways....
the problem is that my dad is dying of Lupus and a heart condition... my mom has alzheimers (almost midstream of it) so I think it all finally got to both of them. Allen and I stayed at my parents' house for about 8 hours making sure all was calm and we were sure that it was all over. When we got there....there were 3 policemen..they did not want to take my dad to jail at his age and he has never even gotten a traffic ticket in his life.
So they left me RESPONSIBLE... all I could do when we got back to our house is CRY.

So this week has been EXTREMELY stressful... when my parents came back from my sister's 40th anniversary party...they decided they were going to sell the house and move down south with my brother in a duplex he owns rent free. The only thing they would have to worry about is electric. Well when I went there because of this incident, the house was already on the market and there were people walking in and out of the house. I could not believe it. My mom is leaving me as much as she can... she only wants her bed and personal belongings.

My mother will still be moving down south to my brothers and my dad is staying up here...he has decided to get himself a mobile home in the same area and just relax and live out his days.

I am still devastated and even as I am typing this I am crying. Today Allen has to take my mom to the state attorney's office as part of the we will see what happens after her appointment. I feel like I have been living a night mare and I cannot wake up.

That is pretty much all I can write for now...I ask that if you BELIEVE in prayer please please say some for my parents...that their hearts become healed and peace reigns in their souls.

Thanks for listening...HUG someone you LOVE!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2005


                This is my third attempt to put in an entry...for some reason my entries keep getting deleted or before I am done writing...the page just disappears and up pops the main page with no new entry found. I have no idea what is going on...but it is getting very fustrating. Now...I hope that all you moms out there had a wonderful Mother's Day. Mine was very peaceful...just the way I like it. My sons called me to wish me a Happy was wonderful to hear from them. My daughter sent me 10 email cards and dedicated an entry in her journal about me...I just was all wonderful. NOW for the handling news...last thursday my hunnie Allen went to the doctor for a follow up regarding headaches that he has been getting. He does get migraines but they are trying to figure out what medications will work for him without knocking him out. When he was seen he told the doctor about his sinuses bothering him and the doctor also listened to his chest. Well next thing my hunnie realize is that they made an appointment for him first thing the next morning for a CT scan of his look for Lung Cancer. Well my hunnie called me when he left the office and  told me how scared he was... all I could do was cry...When he got home..he tried to play it off like it is fine. Neither of us slept that night. Of course we had to wait all weekend to get the results...and come to find out we also had to wait until tuesday. I prayed all weekend...cried at times...and we just talked until we had nothing to say. Tuesday afternoon came around and the results were negative for Lung Cancer (THANK GOD). I have never been that scared. It felt like a huge weight taken off our shoulders. He has ALOT of congestion in his chest and he was prescribed a very intense antibiotic to kill theinfection. The doc also found that Allen has high cholesterol. So my daughter and I have been on his case ever since then watching what he is eating and so on. That was the longest 4 days of my life waiting on the results...I also think of Allen has being the strong one who can take anything...but after hearing that he was being tested for cancer...I saw for the first time fear in his eyes...and that just broke my heart. Okay parents went down south to help celebrate my sister's 40th wedding anniversary. BELIEVE IT OR NOT I actually received an invitation to go to it also. BUT...this was the first time that they actually thought of sending me my own invitation instead of delivery a message through someone else. I just do not bother going. Well of course with my anxiety attacks and all that lovely stuff I did not go. NOW the bigger surprise in this that my dad said if I did not get invited he was not going to go. He was sick and tired of their rudeness that way. That is the first time my dad ever took sides in such a way...especially when it concerns my sister vs me. He has a HUGE soft spot for my when he said that it really shocked me...and even made me cry..( I tend to cry alot I think)..I think last time he went down there that he must have said something to them because I actually got an invitation. My dad's biggest beef is that family comes first and you do not treat family like they are less then you. Well I guess they got the shocked me. I actually put the invitation in my scrapbook because it is such a rare occasion. My parents had a grand time down there so that is nice...that is all that counts for me. Well I am finally getting tired so I am going to end my news here. I hope you all have a MARVELOUS thursday and friday...and remember to HUG someone you LOVE!!!



Sunday, May 8, 2005









AWWWW...My mom and my daughter...the cutest grandmother and granddaughter combination if I say so myself. Well I have already shown you all my most fav pic of my daughter and I and here is my fav of my mom and the kid.

I LOVE my mother's smile...her smile speaks volumes of LOVE,MEMORIES,FAITH,HARD WORK,DEDICATION,COMMITTMENT.
My mom had me late in life...she was around 40 or so when she had our views of the world were two lifetimes apart...but I learned so much from mom has been in the U.S. since her late teens...she is now 83 years old and she still has a very heavy spanish accent...I love her means home to me. I am and will always be amazed at my mother's dedication to her family, and her faith...those are the two most important elements in her life...everything else is secondary. She can cook, keep house, raise kids, run a household, put up with my dad, volunteer for everything at school and the church, be apart of a bowling team and make it all look so very easy...

I so admire her strength...and her old fashioned way of thinking...she made life so simple and peaceful. She is definitely a hugger and kisser (which is part of her charm) and her sense of humor is so funny because it does tend to get lost in the translation that you just gotta laugh. She spoiled me rotten while I was growing up and I knew that. Her dream was always to have a lil girl and here I am. Then when I became pregnant with twins...she was praying beyond belief for a lil girl and sure enough along came my daughter. So my daughter is definitely so spoiled by her...nothing is good enough for her granddaughter. I am thrilled that my daughter has spent all these years living near her grandparents and travelling with them and spending weekends with them and so on....because I know that my parents (especially my mom) have given my daughter that special kind of LOVE and SECURITY that only a grandparent can give. My mom would do anything for her kids and her grandkids..we all know that.

For me ... my mom would always be "MOM OF THE YEAR"...I know that God placed her here on earth as a living angel to show what peace and love are...

I wish all of you who are mothers or daughters or grandmothers...have a wonderful MOTHER'S DAY...and LOVE those that surround you!!!!

Just as a P.S.
my daughter has a journal in which she wrote an entry about me that had me crying for an hour...if you would like to check it out....feel is the link 

Friday, May 6, 2005








ASSIGNMENT:Take a pic of your mom, your kid, your kid's mom, your mom's kids: any combo of mother and child.

Once in a blue moon I check out what the weekend assignment is from "dear John" so I liked this one and I thought I would join in...The above pic was taken about 8 years ago ...just me and my baby Crystalyn.

This is my ALL time favorite photo...I have it sitting on top of my monitor in my puter room...when I was working, I had it on my desk. I just think it is so us...
so I wanted to share it this Mother's Day weekend with all of you...Later on I will be having an entry of my mom...come back to check it out!!!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2005










Like the old saying goes...if I did not have bad luck I would have no luck at all. Hope you are sitting for my could only happen to puter crashed..big time!!! I am totally devastated..what makes things even worse is that we do not have the finances right now to get it for about a week I was using my hunnie's puter HOWEVER...his is filled with a ton of firewalls and blockers and such would allow me to write an entry but it would not let me upload it. I tried several times and finally gave up.
I have a laptop that I have not used in a long of our liters of puppies ate the battery pack wires...but my hunnie went out and got me another one...even better then the one I I am on my laptop..however I have nothing loaded on this one. No graphics no nothing. It also took me almost a full two days to delete all the games and garbage that my kids had loaded into it before the battery wires were now I should be good to go for a bit.

Just to make life a bit more interesting...our well (where we get our water)  has sprung a leak....major leak...and of course we tried everything to fix it but it turns out,according to the pros, that we have to have another well drilled...well that price tag is over $2,000.00. Of course that is not attainable right now so I have no idea what we are going to do.

Like I said...bad luck--no luck.

My son Eric came up and helped out his dad with trying to fix it...and also cutting the grass and such...he stayed for about 4 was a nice surprise...I am glad the two of them got to spend some time together.

Sothat is where we are at right now...just as a side note, I am fighting a sinus infection so that has just made life a bit more miserable. But at least I can still laugh so that is a good thing.

Just thought I would let you all know what I have been up to..I promise to get around to read my usual stops.... I miss everyone. If you visit here please leave your journal link if I do not have it...I love visiting others. You all have a GREAT week.

Remember to HUG someone you LOVE...