Friday, May 20, 2005

GETTING CLOSE TO THAT EDGE

 

 

 

 

I have thought many times to just stop journalling because it seems I cannot keep up with it, or nothing happens that is worth mentioning, or my life seems to overwhelm me and it takes me forever to get myself together again. I know it must so over dramatic...but emotionally I really do not think that I can take much more.

Besides Allen being tested for Lung Cancer and that giving me a scare of a lifetime...I got a phone call from the police from my parents lil town (about 25 minutes away) that there was an incident of domestic violence. YES...you read that right....after 55 years of marriage and at the old ripe age of 83 my dad hit my mom...I have no idea what is really behine the circumstances...all I know is that the police said I HAD to go get my mother and take her with me. I got there and my mom was hysterical, crying, confused and she only could speak spanish. She told me her side all in spanish (thank God that was my first language) and all I could say to her is don't cry it will be alright. It took me 9 hours to reach my siblings down south...they were NO HELP AT ALL!!! Though I will say that for the first time in my life, my brother sounded really upset with my dad which is unheard of.

My mom did not want to leave her home...my mom is extremely particular...very attached to home...scared of everything else. My mom is a VERY old fashioned puerto rican woman who is a devout roman catholic and very set in her ways....
the problem is that my dad is dying of Lupus and a heart condition... my mom has alzheimers (almost midstream of it) so I think it all finally got to both of them. Allen and I stayed at my parents' house for about 8 hours making sure all was calm and we were sure that it was all over. When we got there....there were 3 policemen..they did not want to take my dad to jail at his age and he has never even gotten a traffic ticket in his life.
So they left me RESPONSIBLE... all I could do when we got back to our house is CRY.

So this week has been EXTREMELY stressful... when my parents came back from my sister's 40th anniversary party...they decided they were going to sell the house and move down south with my brother in a duplex he owns rent free. The only thing they would have to worry about is electric. Well when I went there because of this incident, the house was already on the market and there were people walking in and out of the house. I could not believe it. My mom is leaving me as much as she can... she only wants her bed and personal belongings.

My mother will still be moving down south to my brothers and my dad is staying up here...he has decided to get himself a mobile home in the same area and just relax and live out his days.

I am still devastated and even as I am typing this I am crying. Today Allen has to take my mom to the state attorney's office as part of the procedure...so we will see what happens after her appointment. I feel like I have been living a night mare and I cannot wake up.

That is pretty much all I can write for now...I ask that if you BELIEVE in prayer please please say some for my parents...that their hearts become healed and peace reigns in their souls.

Thanks for listening...HUG someone you LOVE!!!

8 comments:

csandhollow said...

My prayers are with you. Is it possible that there is a hea lth issue involved in this? My mother became violent when her cartiod arties started getting blocked. And my husband's aunt that has Alzheimers, has even accused her sister of hitting her when she had not seen her in several months! I know you must be under such stress. Try to take some time just for yourself. {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

my78novata said...

Its hard to tell what really happend with your mom having alzhiemers and your dads health issues its possible he did hit her medications can do funny things. also wiht alzhiemers its possibel there are other reasons for this too. You see my grandmother grandfather and grat aunt on my moms side died of this and my mom she has it. Shes got a tendency towards the cranky side of alshiemers. My dads health is failing they live over hte hill from me and my grandmother on my dads side her health is failing and she lives two houses down. Guess what none of my cousinss or my dads sisters help out very much at all except my dads one sister snuck in and got power of attorney a few years ago without anyone knowing it and my grandmother is too mixed up now to realize my aunt is abusing her. Home health even hated the way my aunt mistreats my grandmother yet they were uable to do anythgn becuase my grandmother is not mentally far gone enough for a judge to get invovled. SO guess who gets all the foot work with three elderly people???????? ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you pain and struggles. IM so sosrry for you. It must be so hard to deal with. I really dont have any advice except contact home health agencys in your area and the eldery associations to see about help for them. Maybe htey will both calm down. So sad to see things like this and with our parents we cant quit tell htem what to do like we cna our children. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} Believe me your journal will be your release. IN j land we are friends and hearing abotu everyday lifes mundane issues of housework is just like istting a breakfast table together. so chatter on

dcmeyer420 said...

Ellie, be strong. Don't worry about journaling. Take care of yourself and your family. I'll be here if you need anything. Sending you tons of hugs and kisses. Hang in there. All these is just a test and I know you will pass with flying colors. Love you, Ellie!  

tendernoggle said...

Oh Ellie,
I am so sorry you are going through all this.  Of course I will pray for you and your family.
Sometimes it is so hard to try to deal with elderly parents....I know.  The thing is, you must try to care for Ellie  too while all this is going on.....
You take care now,  (((( hug))))
Carlene

derasta said...

I will keep you and your family in my prayers...stay strong!

onestrangecat said...

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Kathy

sonensmilinmon said...

Oh Ellie, this is so much for one person!  I will keep you and your family in my prayers.  (((((Ellie))))  As for journaling - I don't think there should be any pressure as to how often you journal or when you journal.  We are here to support you, to listen and be here as friends.  

Monica
http://journals.aol.com/photographybymon/Mamarazzi/
http://journals.aol.com/sonensmilinmon/SmilinMonsAdventures/

bernmilo said...

Oh wow that is horrible...I am so sorry to hear that...Ill pray for you, and do keep journaling.....