Sunday, June 20, 2004

I AM LOST

I know I know I know...again I have disappeared. I just cannot seem to get myself together anymore. I think when pain becomes so constant and is not control it tends to take over your life and you can do nothing but think of the pain. I do apologize and I do not blame anyone who just does not want to keep in touch anymore.... I guess I thought I could handle things but I am not.

With that being said... We are having mega problems with getting on AOL during the hours between 10 in the morning until around 11 at night now. AOL swears it is the phone lines that are having a problem and the phone company says it is AOL's equippment...so of course that means nothing is getting resolved. Again I am going through another bout of sleeping about 21 out of 24 hours a day. I am missing life and that really is eating me up.

Have I mentioned previously that finally WORKMAN'S COMP (w/c) approved my wheelchair. No it is not electric but at least it is a start. It was made for me because of my size and needs and such...pretty cool and a very nice blue in color. So hopefully I can start going to the stores again just to get out. That would be so cool. It only took w/c 4 years to finally approve it. I also have had some doctor appointments and because of the water gain (which has been enormous) the doctors suspect that my heart has suffered some damage. So of course that only caused me to stress out more  and that lead to me getting upset and that lead to more breathing attacks...go figure-the vicious cycle goes on.

On a more positive note--I have one son that has been working his buns off and is travelling the state so he is a happy camper and we really enjoy our time together when he is home. The other son just took his GED test so we are waiting on the results...it takes 4-6 weeks to receive the results.

My daughter has been watching the nephew every day trying to keep him busy. WOW--6 year olds get bored very very easily. Tho I think riding a go-kart and bicycles are great time consumers...lol. Now of course in the great sunshine state the weather is getting oh so hot....and humid....it is already climbing into the mid 90's with no breeze in sight...so this summer is going to be a scorcher. UGH!!!

I would do some major complaining about certain company that has been here and all-and for those that have been keeping up with my journal know who that is-but I think I will save that for another time. I really do not feel like rehashing all that in my head right now...suffice it to say that it has made the homefront extremely on edge...like a bomb waiting to go off.

I am hoping to keep up with my journal more often but at this point it REALLY all depends on my health and if AOL will ever let me on line. To all of you that have hung in there with me.......thanks....I shall return!!!!!
PEACE!!!!!

2 comments:

barebytes said...

I'll hang in thank you, when ever I can I'll be looking for ya. Get to being better and good going on finally geting that wheelchair. Funny how it always takes so long to get the NEEDED help. Hugs Lanny

dymphna103 said...

we are here with you.  My prayers will be with you.  john