Tuesday, February 22, 2005












Someone made me the animation graphic you see at the top of my entry...and I loved it so much I just had to use it right away...lol.

I know again I disappeared...I really do not mean to...I have just run out of things to say lately...and sleeping almost 24 hours a day does not leave alot of puter time. My life is basically boring. Especially since I am homebound and I am too scared to go out 99% of the time. I know that sounds NUTS to most people...but I am trying to deal with it.

Well enough of my psychotic self...My parents today left for their two week cruise. I am so thrilled for them...they are going around south america and such. I wish I was going with them...but that is ok...as long as they enjoy themselves then that is all that matters. They went with a group of friends of theirs...so I know they are in for a GRAND time...they travel alot with this group and really have insane times. We were invited to go to their house this past saturday...my daughter is going to feed and take care of their cat and keep their house tidy....so she had to get her "official" instructions and they wanted to make us dinner and such. Well my anxiety got the best of me and for the first time...I was unable to go to their house. All I could do is cry. I have no idea what is going on inside my head...but it is scaring me. My hunnie and kid went and had a good time and my mother sent back a huge plate of food to me...so I was a happy camper. I am more concerned with them seeing my daughter then me seeing them. I want her to get as much time with them as possible... with my parents being 81...time is very precious.

In 8 days it will officially be my birthday...GEEZ!!! I am ok with birthdays...they have never bothered me...but 45 years old and a prisoner in my own home...just really bothers me. I have one son (the one in Tennessee) who will be arriving at the airport on my birthday to spend a couple of days with me....so I am thrilled. That is a GREAT birthday present in my opinion. The other son who lives in south florida said he would try to get up here but hee may not be able to get off from work...but he cannot stand when his brother does things like that and he can't ...so I just may see him. They are twins and VERY VERY competitive that way.

Okay then...below are some quotes that I thought I would share with you all...Again I am getting tired and need to lay down...I hope whatever is going on...soon passes. Have an AWESOME week everyone...thanks for hanging in there with me.



"Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness."
Oliver Wendell Holmes 

"Hearing is one of the body's five senses. But listening is an art." Frank Tyger   

"In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us."
Flora Edwards 



my78novata said...

OH how i wish I oculd lock myself in my house. But I keep making work for myself. I cant stop!!!!!!! But I hate delaing with people. I hate seeing people sometimes down town I try to runa nd hide before they see me and say hi!!!!!!! after if they do happen to spy me I m like oh gowad!!!!!!!! anad I have ot let out a deep breath. Its like i was held up tight. I hate it. Lori

onestrangecat said...

I totally understand about the anxiety thing.  I wanted to go somewhere this past sunday with some people but couldn't because my anxiety got so bad.


csandhollow said...

Welcome to 45. I will be 46 in a couple months. Hun they do have some great meds for aniety now. I have a couple friends that take it and it has made a world of difference in their life. It is not nuts. Myself I prefer to stay at home. I know I have to go out and so I do. My friends are mainly here, online. I do not go out and socalize. I know you ar trying to deal with oit, admitting it is the first step in dealing with it. I wish you lots of luck and have many prayers for you.

tendernoggle said...

HI Ellie...it is soooo good to hear from you again!
There is medicine for your nerves Ellie...don't be scared to take them cause they will help if you get the right kind...and then maybe you can start easing outside a little bit at a time...
I do not like going out either and I have to work in the public!  If I had my way about it though I would be at home all the time too!  lol
I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
You take care now,

derasta said...

I love that graphic so much, it's great!